


Hello Sunflower

by Seerandthesword



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Romantic Soulmates, SHIELD, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seerandthesword/pseuds/Seerandthesword
Summary: Your soul mark appears on your 18th birthday. What do you do when your father is a part of Hydra and your soul mark binds you to the Winter Soldier.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	1. Hello Sunflower

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I originally got the idea from this from Wolf, Partner, Gloves... by revengingbarnes on Tumblr so if you like this go check it out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your soul mark appears on your 18th birthday. What do you do when your father is a part of Hydra and your soul mark binds you to the Winter Soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a large edit to this chapter after a reread and will probably do the same to the other chapters between writing new chapters

You have always hated your dad. For as long as you can remember you have hated him. Every time he dragged you with him to "work" at Hydra that hatred grew. It came to a point when he decided that you would be the perfect subject for their new round of super-soldier serum testing. So here you were at 10, 10 years old, on this cold metal table with a syringe in your arm screaming your head off as the serum burned through your veins. You can’t remember much except the pain, searing pain as your DNA was rewritten turning you from the child you were to the soldier that they want you to be.

Faces came in and out of focus as the scientists looked you over, studying you to see how the serum affected you. You went through testing, running until your body shut down, lifting more and more weight until you felt like your arms would break; shocking you to test your pain tolerance; cutting you in different places to see how quickly you would heal. With every test that they performed your hatred for Hydra and the man who called himself your father grew. You decided that that man was no father of yours, not if he would willingly subject his own daughter to this torture. You were given no rest, constantly poked and prodded and trained to become their weapon. Their big mistake came when they decided that you only need to be wiped once so that they could test how it affected you and how long it took for you to remember who you were. They tried to brainwash you, it only worked once, the other times you just acted like it worked so that they wouldn’t push harder. They slowly stopped trying to use the brainwashing after all Hydra was all you knew so there was no way that you would turn against it, right? So you bid your time and they gave you more freedom, their mistake.

As your 18th birthday approached you set a tattoo appointment. You would rather die than let Hydra find out what your soulmate mark was going to be. So you decided beforehand that you would go in and get multiple tattoos that day to mask the one that would betray the person that fate had deemed you meant for. The day finally came and when you woke up you ran to the mirror and died a little inside. It couldn’t be, he couldn’t be your soulmate how could you save yourself and him? On your hip, in bright red ink was a star, not just any star but the blood-red star that was a prominent feature on the arm of the Winter Soldier. You hurried around your apartment and hid your mark with a heavy layer of makeup. You couldn’t let anyone see it now.

You rushed to the tattoo parlor in a bit of a panic and told them what three tattoos you wanted. You insisted that they do all of them while you were there. You cut through the protests assuring them that you had a high pain tolerance and you healed quickly. In the weeks preceding this day you had contemplated what exactly you needed. You reasoned that just one tattoo would be too suspicious, you knew you would be punished for this but it was worth it to save your soulmate. To cover your soulmate mark you got a galaxy on your hip, with stars or all colors that created constellations. It took them a couple of hours to finish it, walking over to the mirror you studied the new art on your hip. It stretched from the middle of your thigh to your bottom rib. It was large enough that the stars faded into the background, making it practically impossible to tell that one of them was your soul mark. The second tattoo was a bird in a cage that spanned across your ribs. You had them make the bird abstract, using all types of different objects to create the shape, it would be impossible to know if one of them was actually your soul mark. The last tattoo was a bouquet of all types of flowers with the face of a roaring lion emerging from the center, on your left forearm.

You left the parlor late in the afternoon and headed home. As you opened the door to your apartment you were met by the overly happy face of your father.

"My daughter where have you been? I have been waiting for you almost all day?” the fake concern in his voice making your teeth clench. In response, you shrugged noncommittally,

“I had to run some errands and it ended up taking longer than I expected.” you knew he would be suspicious of your lie but you also knew that it wouldn’t take long for him to find out exactly where you were all day.

“No matter my child, you are here now. As you know you turned 18 today, which means your soul mark has appeared. Show it to me so that we may discover what it is and we may look for the man who will hold your heart." He oozed smugness, believing that he was about to have the key to keeping you in check. You stared your father down knowing that you would die before he found out who your soulmate is.

"Sorry to disappoint dad,” you spat, “ but I had it tattooed over. I didn’t even look at it. So I will never know who my soulmate is but neither will you." as soon as you spoke his face contorted into a man that you didn’t recognize. The rage he felt from your defiance shifting him from your father to the evilest scientist of Hydra.

His grip was bruising as he dragged you from the apartment and back to the lab. The table was freezing as he strapped your half-naked body to it. He snarled at you as you glared up at him.

“You think that you can defy me and not face the consequences? You think that I would not punish you because you are my daughter? I don’t give a shit about you except for what you can do for the cause. You are nothing but a puppet for us to use.” he walked away ordering for you to be tortured until you revealed what your soul mark was. His only condition he gave was that you not be killed, after all, they still had use for you.

You spent days on that table, days of being tortured with every instrument you could think of. At the end of every day your father would come in and ask if you had something to tell him, and every day you spit in his face. After 3 days they decided to brainwash you, they couldn’t wipe you since you wouldn’t be able to tell them what they wanted to know. You let them think it worked, just as you had when you were younger. After that moment they decided that you must have told the truth about not looking before you got the tattoos. There was no way you could have been lying to them once they had you under their sway. You were just relieved that they had finally given up, you didn’t think you could have made it another day without blacking out.

When they dragged you off the table and to one of the cells you could barely move or even think, you curled into yourself on the hard cot and allowed sleep to take you. They didn't allow you to rest for long, as soon as your body was in mostly working order you were thrown into training.

“Learn or die.” your father stated, “It matters not to me which you choose.” You decided that you would act as though you were their soldier and obey their commands as well as you could. Walking into the training ring you were stunned to see that you would be trained by none other than the winter soldier, your soulmate. You had to fight with everything you had, your hatred for Hydra growing with every bruise and cut you were forced to betow. You used your moments alone in your cell to plan. When you were younger you were forced to watch as Hydra wiped and programmed the soldier, at this point you knew the words by heart. You wondered, if they could make a series of trigger words to make him into the Soldat, maybe you could come up with a phrase that could help bring him back. You spent the rest of the night creating the sentence that you would use, deciding on a nickname for him that had meaning to you.

You decided to call him sunflower, they were after all your favorite flower and if fate was to be trusted then he was to be your favorite person. The next day you began implementing your plan, taking the opportunity to speak with him in the moments that you had been able to pin him down or he had pinned you down. Every time the same phrase, spoken to him in Russian, “Hello Sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done. This went on for months until Hydra decided that you were fit to go on missions with the Soldier, believing you to be thoroughly under their control.

Every mission you would find a chance to say the phrase to him. Your time spent with him was the perfect way to learn how to read him, he wasn’t expressive but if you paid enough attention you could see the minute changes in his eyes or stance. You began to notice a difference in him every time that you spoke your sentence to him, no matter when his last brainwash was. He started to recognize you, even when in full Winter Soldier mode. When you spoke to him while training his hits would get a little softer and less aggressive, and when you were on missions he would speak just a little bit more.

During your time with Hydra, mainly the time before you turned 18 you had planned for your escape. You had set up a safe house with all the things you would need. You hadn’t been able to go back to it in years but you knew that it was fully paid for and no one would disturb it. You were 23 when the unthinkable happened, while on a mission you fell, you fell into a river in Sokovia and were saved by a man you had only read about in the soldier’s files. Steve Rodgers. They took your unconscious body back with them to the medical wing in the Avengers tower.

As you woke up your first thought was where am I, your second thought was that you were in too comfortable a bed to be at headquarters. You started to move when you realized that you were cuffed to the railing of a hospital bed. You flopped back onto the bed, cursing your luck and hoping that whoever had you would be willing to listen. Your eyes shot to the door when you heard the door handle jiggle. You stayed tense even when the intruder turned out to be Steve.

“Oh good your awake,” he said noticing your open eyes and tense figure. “Now I get to ask you all of the questions I’ve been wanting to ask for 3 days.” He took a seat next to you. "Who are you? You’re not Sokovian so what were you doing there and where did you get this?" He questioned not bothering to hide the anger in his voice. He was holding Bucky’s dog tags in front of your face and waiting impatiently for you to answer. You wanted to snatch them out of his hand and place them back around your neck, after taking them from his file around a month ago you hadn’t taken them off. You were planning on giving them to him after you got him out, which you had been planning on doing in the coming weeks. But now you were stuck here and there was nothing you could do to get back to him You looked at Steve desperation coloring your voice as you explained, praying that he would listen.

"My name is Y/N, my father is hydra and forced me to become an experiment, a soldier for them. I was planning on escaping but I never could, I couldn’t escape and leave him there. Not when I could do something to save him. I couldn’t leave him there all alone." It came out in a rush as you realized that you had ended up doing just that. Your heart shattered as you realized you had left your soulmate in the hands of Hydra. You had to convince Steve to help you get him back.

"Wait a minute, you're Hydra?" He spat out.

"Not by choice." You answered. You saw the way his jaw relaxed just the tiniest bit when you said that, if you hadn't had years of practice watching Bucky for the tiniest hints of himself you would have missed it.

"Alright then, who is He?" Steve leaned back, crossing his arms as he waited for your answer.

"My soulmate, the Soldier, the man on the dog tags, James Buchanan Barnes." Steve's eyes immediately narrowed, "No, you’re lying.” He spoke through clenched teeth. “I watched him fall, I watched him die. How dare you say that he is your soulmate!" you could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

"I'm not!” you were terrified of what he would do to you if you couldn’t convince him. “I promise, Hydra got to him. They made him into a weapon, they brainwashed him and put him on ice when they didn’t need him so that they could control him better. I swear I'm not lying!"

He stared at you for a long time, before he seemed to make a decision,

“Well, I can't trust you and I can’t let you go so you will be placed under watch here in the tower, if you want us to trust you, you will have to prove yourself trustworthy."

Your arrangement worked for a year. In that year you had become close to the avengers, true you stayed on the compound for the most part, but they came to trust in you and rely on you. But then Fury was shot and Steve found out Hydra was in Shield, and you knew you had to escape before they got to you, so you did. You kept an eye on Steve, at a distance, you knew they would send Bucky after him and that that was your best chance to get to him.

Then the bridge happened and you saw your soulmate for the first time in a year. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest as you ran towards him. You watched as he attacked Steve, you saw Steve's shock as the mask fell off and you heard his heartbroken voice when he called out for his friend. And you heard Bucky’s answering question. You ran and tackled him, just like you had so many times in training. He fought back, you knew he would. You struggled with him dodging punches and his knife. You were finally able to flip him onto the concrete and pin him. Your heart in your throat as you stared into the eyes of your soulmate, praying as you spoke that he would remember. Knowing that he had an unconscious reminder of you etched on his skin in ink. “Hello sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done."


	2. My Sunflower, My Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You found Bucky can you get him to safety?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't speak Russian so I used Google translate so sorry if it sucks

_It was on one of your missions when you had first seen it, the sunflower on his hip. He was changing after taking his shower and in your mind everything clicked. You stared at it mesmerized, you could see the scars littered across its length from where Hydra tried to remove it from his skin. But it was still as vibrant as the mark that graced your hip. You were pulled out of your reverie by an almost imperceptible chuckle coming from the usually stoic soldier._

_“Like what you see, doll?” You immediately averted your eyes, fighting to hide the telltale blush that you could feel coloring your cheeks._

_“I didn’t mean to stare, I just realized that I had never seen your soul mark before. Do you know who it is?” You asked, trying to steer the conversation away from your obvious staring._

_“No,” he looked confused, “I don’t believe I do, I can’t remember.” his brow was furrowed as he traced the tattoo. He shook his head, ridding his face of emotion, gone was the man, and the soldier stood in his place._

_Laying down with your back to him you let your mind wander. His tattoo was a sunflower, of course, it was, why else would you decide to call him that. Why else would your phrase work? Why else would he recognize you even when he couldn’t actually remember why? The nickname that you gave to him was his tattoo. You let tears fall from your face for the first time since you discovered your own soul mark. You cried for the future that you may never have with him, you cried for the pain he had endured because of your mark on his skin. And when all of your tears had been shed you allowed anger and determination take their place. You would not allow him to lie the rest of his life under the thumb of hydra, you would die before you let that happen. So in that cold hotel, you began to plan, you were going to save the winter soldier even if it killed you._

So, as you fought to pin him on that concrete you hoped against hope that he would remember.

Pinning him, you could see the shift in his eyes as he recognized you. He had spent way too much time with you as the winter soldier to truly forget you. You spoke quickly and quietly to him between breaths. There was a flicker in his eyes as you spoke, spurring you on. His eyes weren’t completely clear showing that he was still in soldier mode, so you did the only thing you could think of, the only thing that you knew would get him moving. You gave him an order. 

"Soldier, change in mission, you are to come with me." You saw the flash of confusion on his face, gone as quickly as it arrived and you prayed that he would listen. He nodded and turned to follow you. You sprinted to the nearest car and hopped in. Catching Steve’s eye from the other side of the bridge. You gave him a nod and mouthed "trust me" hoping that it would be enough for him to understand that you were still on his side. You saw the almost imperceptible dip of his head as he turned to follow Nat and escape.

You rushed to get the car moving, throwing it into gear before peeling out and driving in the opposite direction as Steve and Natasha. You pressed the gas harder as the sound of sirens reached you, Hydra wouldn’t be far behind. You drove fast, weaving through the cars, noticing the cars following behind you as hydra started to catch up. Then you saw it, the opportunity you needed to escape, a way for them to believe you dead, or at least lost. The river. You looked over at Bucky his eyes were clearer than they were on the bridge. They mirrored the same determination you were feeling. He nodded and you turned the wheel. It felt as if time slowed as you hit the guardrail, the car careening into the murky water below.

You blinked the darkness from your eyes at the impact. The cold water rushing into the car and throwing your brain into high gear. There were gunshots above you, you would have to stay under as long as you possibly could. It was imperative that you made it as far away from the bridge and the hydra agents as you could. Looking over at Bucky you both took a deep breath as the water closed over your heads. Everything felt muted as you escaped the flooded car, you swam, kicking your legs as hard as you could, using the current to drag your farther and farther downriver.

You burst out of the water coughing and gasping when you couldn’t hold your breath any longer. You scanned the water, looking for any sign of Bucky that you could find, You started to panic when you couldn’t see him. Shit, what if he didn’t make it, what if he got out earlier than you, what if something happened? Your swirling thoughts were interrupted by a head of dark brown hair bursting out of the river downstream from you. Gasping for air just as you had a few moments ago, your heart squeezed in your chest, tension leaving you at seeing him alive. You swam over to him, making your way to the bank of the river. Only exiting the river when you found an area that would mask your exit from anyone that came looking.

You grabbed Bucky’s arm pulling him after you. Running towards the buildings lining the river, finding an alley to duck into you took a moment to assess your surroundings. You had a mental map in your mind of DC, thanks to all of your time on missions here. You took a second to figure out where you were in relation to your safe house. Bucky remaining blessedly quiet, letting you take the lead, scanning the area for any threats. You finally figured out the best way to get to your safe house without getting caught, mostly ducking through alleys and deserted side streets. It had been dark for a couple of hours by the time you arrived at the door of the nondescript brick building you had chosen.

You were shivering from head to toe as you walked around to the fire escape, using a hidden pole to pull the ladder from its place above your heads. You started up the ladder, waiting for Bucky when you reached the first landing. When he was safely beside you, you pulled the ladder back up so that you couldn’t be followed. You climbed to the middle floor of the building, you had set up traps on the floors above and below making it the safest place in the building. You pulled a brick out from near the window, taking the key you hid inside to open the locked window. You slipped through the small opening, pausing to listen for any hints that someone else was in the room. When you were mostly confident that it was just you, you pulled your gun from its holster and turned on one of the gas lamps.

You didn’t have to worry about anyone looking in since you had blackout curtains over each of the windows; the cameras that you had placed around the building gave you ample view of anyone that walked by. You walked through each room of the empty apartment checking every nook and cranny before holstering your pistol. Turning on a couple more lights and the heater, you walked back into the main living area. You smiled at the sight of Bucky standing in the middle of the room looking like a lost puppy, something that you would have never attributed to him before that moment. For the first time in months, you were able to relax. You motioned for him to sit at the table, walking towards the kitchen to make some dinner. You hadn’t eaten all day and you knew that Bucky was probably in the same boat. 

“Any requests for food?” you asked, glancing at the soldier. He was sitting in the chair as straight as a rod, muscles tense in case he needed to defend himself. You hated how Hydra had ruined his ability to feel safe. He moved his gaze from scanning the room to staring at your face. You waited patiently for him to answer, knowing that he wasn’t used to being asked for an opinion. 

“Umm, I don’t really know what foods I like, so anything is fine.” He finally said, looking self-conscious. You tread over to him, taking care to appear harmless, noticing the small tensing of his shoulders every step you took towards him. You held your hands out in surrender, kneeling in front of him to make your presence less threatening.

“I swear to you, you will never have any reason to fear me. I am here to help, and I could never hurt you. You are safe here, Hydra won’t find you here and if they do I will have your back until they are dead or I am.” you spoke softly but he could hear the conviction in your voice, and for some reason it made him trust you. He felt like he knew you and he was trying to figure out why. He nodded to you and you headed back to the stove, making a simple meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup. You placed the food in front of him and sat on the other side of the table, relaxing at the warmth of the food and the knowledge that at least for tonight you and Bucky were safe.

You discretely studied the man across from you. Taking a moment to look at your soulmate. A peaceful moment where you weren't being forced to fight him or stuck on a mission where you felt conflicted by the actions you were forced to commit. You just got to see him. You could tell that his hair was longer than the last time you saw him. The black that they had placed around his eyes was running down his cheeks from the river water. He was as buff as you had ever seen him and his metal arm was the same as always with the red star on his shoulder. But it was his eyes that captured your attention. Those piercing blue eyes were looking at you with confusion and just a hint of hope as he silently ate his food. His eyes were so much more expressive and so very different than when he was brainwashed. You gave him a small smile when you noticed his gaze. After you both finished stuffing your faces you set down your fork, took a deep breath, and spoke. 

"Alright," you paused, worried that you were about to regret the words coming out of your mouth, "ask me anything" He took a second, you swore you could see the gears turning in his head. 

"The man on the bridge, he knew me?" He spoke slowly as if tasting the words as they crossed his tongue. You gave him a small smile, and nodded, 

"Yes, he knew you, very well actually,” you took a deep breath and started playing with your fingers, “his name is Steve Rogers and you grew up together. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, but your friends call you Bucky." He studied you intently while you reached around your neck and took off his dog tags, handing them to him, "these are yours, you were in WWII, and in 1943 you fell off a train and were captured by Hydra, you were brainwashed and frozen. They took you in and out of cryo, using you to do their bidding before throwing you back in." He slowly nodded, taking in your words and mulling them over before speaking. 

"I don't fully remember what all happened or what all I did but that sounds right." He raised his eyes to look straight at you again, "And you, I know you"

You took a sip of your drink placing it carefully on the table before speaking 

"Yes, you know me" you started chewing on your lip as you decided how to proceed. "My father worked for Hydra since before I was born and when I was 10 they started testing on me. My father would take me with him and have me watch as they would put you in and out of cryo. I hated him before but seeing the torture and pain they put you through was what made me decide to find a way to get us both out. Then I turned 18, and everything went to hell. I got my soulmark and disobeyed blatantly disobeyed him. He had enough and tried to wipe me, they had done it before when I was younger, but this time they couldn't. I was too stubborn and already had a purpose that superseded anything that they could do. But I let them believe that they had won, that the brainwashing had worked. They had me train with you and occasionally go on missions with you, once they believed me under their control." You saw the hint of a smile on his face as he recalled 

"You would always say that phrase, the one you said on the bridge." His gaze on you was intense and you couldn’t fight the smile that was threatening to escape, 

"Privet, podsolnukh, solntse vzoshlo, i tvoi mechty ispolnilis'. Hello, sunflower the sun is up and your dreaming is done. The sunflower is my favorite flower and so it seemed fitting for you." There was an emotion in his eyes at that moment that you couldn't name. 

"You mentioned your soul mark… may I see it?"

You felt as if your heart was stuck in your throat, for the first time since you turned 18 you felt ashamed of the tattoo that masked your mark. Unable to say anything you nodded and stood. Lifting the right side of your shirt and pulling the waist of your pants down just enough to see your tattoo. He stared at your hip a moment before looking up at your face,

"I don't understand" he murmured as he looked back down at the night sky inked on your skin. 

You took a deep breath and started to explain, "My soul mark is a star, a red star," you pointed to the original star before continuing, "I couldn't let them use it against me so I got a tattoo to disguise it." You could see the question swirling in his eyes and you nodded. It felt electric when he brushed his finger over the star, and you couldn't help the gasp that passed your lips. He smiled, truly smiled, and it was in that moment that you decided you would spend the rest of your life doing whatever you could to see that smile again. You watched as he stood and lifted the left side of his shirt and you got to see the sunflower that extended from his hip up to his ribs, full of life and color, so different to the soldier that Hydra had made him into. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you looked at him.

"It is nice to officially meet you, my sunflower." You couldn’t help the watery laugh that escaped as he said those words. 

"It's nice to meet you my star, I have wished for this every day since I first got my mark." You replied. With that, he pulled you into his arms and you decided that this was your favorite place to be.


	3. Who needs peace and quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Try not to die, or I'll be pissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter I still have more planned for this. Leave a comment if you have any ideas or requests for the next chapters.
> 
> Edited 2/17

Life, you discovered at an early age is never easy and you were not made to be in the background. Hydra had taken that decision away from you when they injected their super-soldier serum in you. So it didn’t come as a surprise when your brief peace with your soulmate was interrupted the next day. Luckily this time it wasn’t Hydra knocking on your door, it was Steve. 

Waking up, you could feel the weight of your soulmate's arm slung over your waist. The sun was peeking up over the horizon filling the room with the soft light that escaped from the edges of the curtains. You sighed, resisting the urge to snuggle back into the warmth of your soulmate. You carefully turned over to face him, watching as the sun slowly revealed more of his face to you. He looked so much younger as he slept, without the weight of the world on his shoulders for just a couple of hours. You didn’t notice his lips curve into a smirk. Jumping in surprise at his deep voice.

“Well Doll, I know I’m handsome but I didn’t think I was ‘stare creepily at while sleeping handsome’.” you rolled your eyes and smacked his shoulder 

“It’s not creepy unless you make it creepy.” He slowly opened his eyes and smiled at you.

“I guess it wasn’t that creepy.” he agreed, you playfully glared at him,

“Glad to know you think I’m creepy.” you joked before jumping out of bed and starting breakfast. You put the coffee in the pot and gathered all of the ingredients to make breakfast tacos. Bucky strolled up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and setting his chin on your shoulder, watching intently as you cooked. You asked him to set the table as you finished cooking, setting a cup of coffee in front of him before grabbing your own. You were in the middle of eating when the security system was tripped. Your gaze shot to the screen that showed the front of the building, pulling your gun out of the drawer behind you. You relaxed slightly when you saw the familiar form of Steve standing outside. Bucky had the same reaction as you, jumping to attention, gun in hand as soon as he heard the alarm. You signaled for him to lower it as you went into the hallway. You made your way down the stairs and to the main building door. Looking through the peephole you were greeted by the sight of Steve, Nat, and someone that you didn’t know. You cracked open the door before speaking,

“Tell me something only Steve would know.” You saw a small smile grace his face.

“You make the best coffee out of all of us, you sing in the shower and you’re still mad at me for not trusting you about Bucky.” You paused for a moment debating your next question,

“If it’s safe to open the door, what did I sign to you on the bridge?” He had the decency to look slightly ashamed. 

“You told me to trust you. Something that I had trouble doing before.” You nodded and opened the door for them, not loosening the hold you had on your gun. You lead them upstairs, making sure that they avoided the trip wires on your way up. You reached your door knocking with the pattern that you and the winter soldier always used on missions. Bucky slowly opened the door waiting until you let him know it was safe before letting you in. You waved them in behind you and had them take a seat on the couches. You sat at the kitchen table so that you could finish eating while they explained what was going on. Taking your seat you look at Steve expectantly, prompting him to start.

“A couple of days ago we found out the Hydra had infiltrated Shield. They had been working behind the scenes in shield since the beginning. You were right not to trust them, we found a whole file about you, from your birth to where you lived in the tower. I’m sorry for not listening to you at the start.” He looked down at his hands before continuing. “We found where they were keeping the mind of Zola, using him to advance their cause. After the bridge, we were able to figure out what they are planning next and we need to stop it.” you gave him a look that screamed I told you so, but before you could speak Bucky’s voice came from behind you.

“We already knew that. But anything Hydra has planned can’t be good and considering the last mission they sent me on was to kill you, you are probably one of the only ones that can stop it.” You felt Bucky put his hand on your shoulder as he spoke, keeping you close to him since he wasn’t really sure how much he trusted these people. Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke

“I realize that but we can’t do it alone, we need your help.” you looked him over and noticed the obvious fatigue, you couldn’t help but wonder when the last time he slept was.

“Ok,” you conceded, “we can figure out a plan and what we need, but first, who is that guy?” You asked nodding towards the man sitting next to Nat. Steve seemed to realize his mistake,

“Sorry, I should have introduced you first, this is Sam, He’s ex-military, he isn’t a super soldier but he has a suit that allows him to fly. He’s been helping us since I showed up on his doorstep after being attacked at shield.” You looked Sam over, you could tell that he had military training, obvious in the way he hadn’t stopped scanning the room for threats since he entered the door. Otherwise, you couldn’t tell exactly how he could help but you had enough experience with Steve to know that if he said that Sam would be helpful then he would be. You finally let yourself relax a bit knowing that Steve trusted him. There would be more time to talk after Hydra was taken care of.

“Alright then,” you said clapping your hands together and standing up, “What exactly is Hydra planning and how can we help stop them?” You leaned into Bucky as Steve explained what exactly was going on and what they were planning. You could feel Bucky’s thumb rubbing your tattoo as he listened to Steve, subconsciously assuring himself that you were still there. You spent about 30 minutes fine-tuning the plan which, to Bucky’s annoyance, excluded him. You all decided that it would be best if he stayed at the safe house, out of sight so that Hydra couldn’t pull him back in. Before you left Steve took Bucky to the side.

“Bucky, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t come looking for you. I thought you were dead after you fell and I couldn’t stand the thought of finding your body. I have lived in regret ever since. I told you I was with you until the end of the line and I failed.” remorse obvious in his face and voice. Bucky cut him off before he could continue, 

“Punk, you couldn’t have known that I survived and there was nothing you could have done. But I’m glad that I will get the chance to get to know you again.” You could see the pain that flitted across Steve’s face when at Bucky’s words. He knew it wouldn’t be easy but it pained him to know that his best friend didn’t really remember who he was. Steve nodded and stepped away walking towards the door and giving you and Bucky space to say goodbye. You opened your mouth to speak but didn’t get anything out before Bucky pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and murmured in your ear 

“Don’t die today, or else I’ll be pissed.” he pulled back and all you could do was give him a shaky nod and a quick kiss on the cheek, promising yourself that you would give him a proper kiss as soon as you saw him again. You let go and stepped away, holding his hand for just a second longer before heading out the door. 

You were done being scared of Hydra and it was time for them to pay.


	4. Who Said Revenge is Easy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a plan and are off to help Steve fight Hydra. But when do things ever go according to plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that the next chapter will be all fluff and that they will get some time to be together without their lives being in danger. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests from future chapters

There are moments in everyone's life where they wonder how the hell they got into the situation they are in. You, it just so happens, have this thought at least once every two or so weeks. This was that moment, falling from who knows what story of the shield building while being shot at from above. As the wind rushed through your ears as you free fell, you can’t think of a similar scene from a movie that you watched at the Avenger’s tower, Megamind. Sadly you don’t have a gun that will dehydrate you until you hit the water. No, you just have your stupid super strength and the hope that your soldier won’t be too mad at you if you don’t make it out of this. Your careening thoughts are brought to an abrupt end as you are grabbed out of the air by a distinctly metal arm. You’re ripped out of your fall and into the arms of your soldier. Confused you look around and see that he had somehow commandeered a helicopter and pilot. You don’t have time to think about how mad you are at him for coming or how fucked you are once he catches his breath before he pulls back and yells at you. 

The first words out of your devastatingly handsome soulmate’s mouth after saving your life are not how happy he is he was there to save you or how much he already loves you. No the first words out of his mouth are the ever Bucky-like words

"I don’t know whether to kiss you or throw you off a building right now." You decided not to comment on how counterproductive it would be for him to push you off a building after saving you from that exact fate. Instead, you looked up at him a little dazed after your near-death experience and brazenly said 

"if you don’t kiss me right fucking now, I'll push you off a building." You could see the smile he was fighting to hide before he slammed his lips to yours and all you could think was how right kissing him felt. You mentally scolded yourself for not kissing him properly before you left. You made a mental promise that you would give him a proper kiss wherever you had to separate, you refused to live with regret if something were to happen before you saw each other again. You were breathless as he pulled away, wishing that the moment didn’t have to end. But the helicopter was touching down and there were other places that you were needed. As soon as the helicopter touched the ground you grabbed Bucky’s arm pulling him along with you as you ran back towards the building you just fell out of.

The roaring of the helicarrier engines was deafening as you entered the building. You prayed that Steve was on one of them so that he could disable them. There was nothing you could do about them now, you thought running full tilt through the lobby and to the elevators. You needed to help Nat take care of Hydra. You waited impatiently in the elevator as it made its way to the top floor. Bucky putting his hand on your shoulder to remind you that you were not alone. The bell dinged informing you, that you had reached your destination. You looked over your shoulder at Bucky, his eyes met yours and he nodded, you could do this.

You rushed into Fury’s office, Bucky hot on your tail, in time to see all of the helicarries firing on each other and exploding in the background. Your attention was immediately diverted from the windows to the sight of Pierce leading Natasha towards you and the door while holding a phone. You couldn’t really understand why a phone was enough to make her do what he wanted, but you didn’t have time to ponder that before you were noticed. Pierce looked up from the phone in his hand, eyes skipping over you and landing on Bucky. The smile that crossed his lips at the sight of his soldier walking through the door made your skin crawl. The sure way he held himself as if he knew that he had won, made you want to shoot him.

“Ah, Soldat, I’m so glad you came back and brought the traitor with you as well.” he congratulated, you felt Bucky tense at his words, knowing that if Pierce realized he wasn’t under Hydra control things would go south quickly. He gave a stiff nod to Pierce grabbing your arm as you spat out insults at the man in front of you.

“I’m sure,” he continued while ignoring you, “That her father will be very excited to have her back safe. He has had ample time to discover new ways to get her back under control. I distinctly remember him mentioning something about a new experiment that he wanted to try on her.” At the mention of your father, you felt the blood drain out of your face, and at the same time, you saw red.

Breaking out of Bucky’s grip you watched as Natasha pushed a button, electrocuting herself. Weird, you thought but you didn’t have time to wonder what exactly that accomplished before you were pulling your gun out from behind you. Eyes widening as you heard Pierce say the first word “Longing”. You felt rather than saw Bucky tense up behind you, weapon falling to the ground. Pierce’s voice was cut off mid-word by the bullet you fired into his skull. He had barely got out the first syllable of the second word before he fell to the ground, dead.

You barely registered Fury running over to check on Natasha, you were too focused on Bucky. You spun to look at him as soon as you pulled the trigger. His eyes were glassy, staring forward unfocused. His body was frozen, every muscle pulled tight. You placed your gun back in its holster, moving slowly, knowing that any fast moment would be seen as a threat. Creeping forward you gently reached for one of his trembling hands. His eyes snapped to you as soon as your fingers brushed his skin, a flicker of recognition flashing across them before they went back to glassy and unfocused. You took one last slow step, until you were inches from him, observing the way his muscles tensed even more at your proximity, eyes narrowing as he decided if you were friend or foe. You held his gaze, unflinching as you softly began to speak. 

“Hello Sunflower,” you whispered watching his eyes widen at the words, seeming to focus on your face for a moment. You started again, changing it up just a little bit. “Hello Bucky, my sunflower, the sun is up, your dreaming is done,” you spoke quietly tilting your head to the side, gauging his reaction to the words.

A sigh of relief passed your lips as his eyes lost their glassiness, wondering from your face to your hands and back again. His body started to relax, until the realization of what could have happened caused fear to take over. He started to tremble, his mind started to race, he could have hurt you, hell he could have killed you and there was nothing he could have done to stop himself. He pulled his hand from yours, head falling in shame and defeat. You knew the thoughts that were running through his head and you couldn’t allow them to continue. Lifting one of your hands you gently placed it on his cheek, tilting your heads until your foreheads touched. Taking a deep breath you licked your lips before softly speaking,

“Bucky, I need you to listen to me and hear the words I am about to say.” you paused allowing him to process your voice. “I want you to know that no matter what you could never hurt me. You have had years of fighting with me to hurt me and you never have. Not even when you were fully under their control, you always, in some way, know that you have to protect me. I trust you with every fiber of my being and I can’t stand seeing you doubt yourself.” you could feel the turmoil rolling off of him, the set of his shoulders and lock of his jaw giving his emotions away. Reaching up with your other hand you gently tilted his head so that his eye met yours. Though all of his fear and regret he looked you in the eyes, his shoulders dropping when couldn’t find an ounce of fear or trepidation. He is your soldier, your sunflower, your soulmate and in your eyes, he would never be anything else. You quickly smiled at him, giving him a peck on the lips before turning to look at Fury.

“You didn’t see us. We were never here. Delete any video footage you have of us.” You stated leaving no room for argument. “We will be going somewhere to lie low, out of Hydra’s radar. After and only after you are able to assure us that Hydra is no longer a part of Shield will we consider coming back. Even then we will not be a part of Shield, we will be a part of the Avengers, we are done being used as weapons by your organization. I’m sure you can understand our hesitance in trusting Shield after this.” You paused to take a breath, gauging his reaction to your words, when he didn’t interrupt you continued. “I will leave a way to contact us with Steve. Only use it if it is absolutely imperative for us to be involved. Understood?” You saw the edge of Fury’s lip quirk up at your tone before he nodded speaking in an equally firm tone. 

“With all of Shield and Hydra’s files now out on the internet there will be a trial and we will need you there.” You closed your eyes for a second breathing in before replying,

“Understood, but you must understand that I refuse for either of us to go to jail for things that we had no choice in, and I will say such to a jury.”

He sighed, shaking his head, 

“I don’t want that either but I want you to be prepared for the storm that is coming your way. We will do whatever we can to help but I can’t guarantee anything. Although it may be easier to convince them of your change in heart if you were seen as a part of the Avengers.” 

You glanced over at Bucky, you could tell that he wasn’t crazy about the idea but the tilt of his head at your gaze assured you that if it came to it he would do anything necessary. 

“We understand, now we need to leave before anyone can stop us,” you stated, “If you find any information pertaining to my father I would appreciate it if you could send it my way via our mutual acquaintance.” You didn’t wait for his reply before you and Bucky were on your way out of the building. It didn’t take long for you to escape the building, only having to stop a couple of times to hide from any prying eyes. As you made it outside you saw Sam running towards you,

“Cap is hurt, he needs a hospital,” he called out as he neared you. You glanced at Bucky before rushing towards Sam and shouting for him to lead the way. When you got to Steve you could tell that he wasn’t doing great. You looked towards Sam, 

“Normally I would say that I could take care of it but I always had the doctors at Hydra double-check once we got back to base. I need you to get him to the hospital, Bucky and I can’t be seen in public right now or we would go with you. We will find a new place to stay, and send word to Steve so that he will know how to find us when it's safe.” You clasped his shoulder, “Thank you for taking care of him, it means the world to both of us. You were a huge help and I’m not sure we would have succeeded without you.”

He looked between the two of you, “The feeling is mutual, even if he is a pain in the ass, and tried to kill me on that bridge.” He said while motioning at Bucky. You shrugged 

“Well we can’t all be angels like Cap.” you looked down at Steve the worry that you were feeling obvious on your face. You felt Bucky place his hand in yours,

“Take care of him, Sam, He’s family.” you heard Bucky say from behind you. You squeezed his hand at the words before nodding and blinking the tears out of your eyes. You gave one last look at him before you felt Bucky tugging on your hand, you had stayed too long already, you needed to leave. You turned away and the two of you headed to your safe house to gather supplies. You would have to be quick, you needed to leave the city and get as far away as you could that night. You looked towards Bucky as you ran, you would be alright, hydra may not be completely dead quite yet but it would take them time to regroup, time that you could use to lay low. The storm was coming, and when it came you would be ready to face it head-on.


	5. Good Morning Sunflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get a moment to relax and spend time with your soulmate without the treat of Hydra.

You first saw the Winter Soldier when you were five. You will never forget that day, it is seared into your memory. That was the day that your dad made you watch as they brought the asset out of cryo. You had to watch as they scrambled his brain and said the ten words that would make him into their puppet. That was the day that you promised to yourself that you would save the soldier.

Mornings were never your favorite. They usually came with cold water poured on you followed by rigorous training. But this morning, this morning might just make you change your mind. You woke up for the first time in years feeling completely content. As you opened your eyes you were greeted by the sight of your soulmate sprawled across the bed beside you. He was wearing one of the Henley's you had bought him the day before after you found an apartment to stay in Brooklyn. You decided on Brooklyn since it would be the last place anyone would look for you, it just seemed too obvious which is exactly why you decided on it. You looked around your small apartment, easily defendable and you had already set up your own security system just to be safe. You loved how cozy it felt with the sun staring to flood the room with light. You turned on your side so that you were facing Bucky. You couldn’t believe that you were lucky enough to be with him, you still couldn’t believe that he was here with you, out of the clutches of Hydra. You gently traced your finger from his forehead along the side of his face, reveling in the warmth of his skin underneath your fingertips. Running your fingers through his hair you smiled as he nuzzled into your hand. You jumped a little when he started to speak, his voice deeper and more gravelly than usual,

“Mmm I could get used to waking up like this every morning, although I did have to stop myself from attacking you when I first felt your fingers on my face before I remembered that it was just you.”

He slowly opened his eyes while cocking his eyebrow at you. You giggled pulling your hand back, 

“I could take you, especially when you’re still waking up.” He laughed at that, 

“Yeah right, you couldn’t take me. Have you ever beat me in a fight?” you scoffed at him, 

“I have pinned you multiple times,” you argued 

“Yeah only after you whispered your magic words in my ear and I pulled back.” He countered. You rolled your eyes at him shutting him up with a kiss, throwing your leg over his waist, and sitting on top of him.

“See,” you murmured sliding your hands up his arms and pushing his hands into the mattress. “It’s not that hard to pin you down.” You didn’t wait for a response before pressing your lips onto his, he wasn’t going to let you win that easily, so he threw his weight and pinned you down underneath him.

“And it’s even easier to pin you down my little sunflower.” You smiled up at him, he watched as an emotion he couldn’t name crossed your face. He released his grip on you, sitting up worried that he did something wrong. You were quick to grab his arm, not letting him retreat further from you. 

“You weren’t doing anything wrong, I just had a question and I wasn’t sure how you would react.” You watched his eyebrows scrunch together, wonder what kind of question you could have that would make you scared of the answer.

“You can ask me anything,” he said with fake confidence. You smiled squeezing his arm tighter for a second before taking a deep breath, 

“CanIseeyoursoulmatetattoo.” you got out in a rush. His eyebrow went up, but you knew he heard you when you saw the corner of his mouth pull up in one of his stupid smirks. 

“I’m sorry little one,” he said radiating cockiness, “I didn’t that, could you please repeat your question a little slower this time.” 

You could feel the blush painting your cheeks, knowing that he loved the power he had over you. Why were you so shy, you were a top tier fighter just like him for fucks sake, but for some reason, he made you nervous when he looked at you like he was then. You took another deep breath closing your eyes to steel yourself, you can do this dammit it’s just Bucky. You opened your eyes looking anywhere but his face. 

“Can I see your soul mark please.” you finished in a whisper, finally letting yourself meet his eyes.

He was looking at you with a softness that you didn’t know he was capable of. He quickly leaned down to give you a peck on the lips before sitting back up and pulling off his shirt. You looked at his chest in awe and melancholy, you reached out and traced one of the biggest scars. You wish that you had been able to save him from Hydra earlier, he didn’t deserve what they did to him. You were pulled from your thoughts when he shifted, worried about how you would react to his scars. You gave a soft kiss to the scar that you had been tracing. You looked up at him

“You never have to be ashamed of your scars around me, I probably have just as many of them as you do.” 

You could see the tears welling in his eyes so you quickly turn your attention to the large sunflower spanning his side. You traced the lines from the base of the stem and around each of the petals marveling in the mark that tied him to you. You reached down and shifted so that he was sitting next to you so that you could shimmy down your shorts enough for him to see your tattoo. You felt ashamed that you had needed to hide it that you couldn’t show off the star that was mirrored on his arm. His finger brushed your hip so softly that you could have imagined it. He rested his hand on your thigh so that he could rub his thumb over your mark, he turned his eyes back to your face and saw the shame that you were feeling painted across your face. He leaned forward and kissed you hard, 

“Don’t you ever feel ashamed of what you had to do in order to survive. Because of your forethought, I get to be here with you and I didn’t have to watch them use you as leverage against me. You’re a survivor like me and I will never blame you for it.” he spoke softly to you as his forehead rested against yours. 

At that moment you finally understood what people were talking about when they said that no one could understand you as well as your soulmate could. So you crashed your lips against his deciding to show him exactly how much you love and appreciate him. Using every kiss to assure him that you were there for him and that you weren’t going anywhere. And every gasp to show him that you could never be ashamed of who he was forced to be.


	6. Time to Go Sunflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months after escaping Hydra you get an unexpected visitor.

You had gotten to enjoy a normal life with Bucky for 6 months. Six months of going to work and coming home to spend time lounging around. You didn’t just lounge around, of course, neither of you is that kind of person. You work and worked out every day at a local gym, you had quickly become friends with the owner. He didn’t ask too many questions when you asked for a job and you taught women self-defense and helped keep the place running. Bucky taught a boxing class and helped you teach self-defense. He really enjoyed the ability to use all of his training to help others rather than hurt. The nightmares are the hardest thing for both of you. You both did this you weren’t proud of, you were both tortured, and now that everything was peaceful all of those memories were coming back to haunt you. You slowly fell into a routine on the nights when the nightmares kept you up. You woke up first, due to your nightmares or his, walking into the kitchen you would place the tea kettle on the stove. Bucky had surprisingly become fond of some chamomile tea when he couldn’t sleep, but only when you’re the one who makes it. You place your coffee mugs on the counter, you had gotten them as a joke when you first moved to Brooklyn. Smiling, you remembered the day you bought them.

_It was a chilly spring morning and you had just moved to New york. As you explored your neighborhood you noticed that there was a farmers market. You looked over at Bucky giving him your best puppy dog eyes. He rolled his eyes, before chuckling and saying,_

_“I guess it wouldn’t hurt for us to look around for a minute. We could use some fresh fruit at the house.”_

_Walking through the narrow paths you pointed out every funny or weird thing that you could find. Reveling in the small smiles that occasionally graced his face as you pointed out something especially silly. It was so different being able to do whatever you wanted, having time to just joke around. You couldn’t help being on high alert, even as you had fun walking through the market, and you could tell that Bucky was in the same boat. Your eyes scanning the area, taking notes of exits, and paying attention to everyone around you. Your eyes grazed over a particularly cluttered booth full of assorted kitchen items when you saw it. The perfect mug for your soulmate. You hurried over to the booth, Bucky following behind you confused at the sudden pit stop. You grabbed the mug and excitedly asked the man behind the table._

_“How Much?” “_

_For a pretty lady like you, $5.” You quickly pushed the money into his waiting palm, turning back to Bucky to show him your treasure. It was a large white mug with the sentence “I never thought I would be a grumpy old man but here I am, killing it.” He took one look at it and laughed out loud, a full belly laugh that had you grinning like an idiot. You had never heard him laugh like that before and it quickly became your favorite sound. He searched the rest of the market, looking for the perfect mug for you as well. You were walking past the last booth when he saw it. Dark blue with a yellow sunflower beside the words “I run off of coffee, chaos and cuss words.” It was his turn to rush over, purchasing the cup before you even caught up. Looking up at him with curiosity when you reached his side. He was grinning like a schoolboy when he showed you what he had found._

Bucky’s arms sliding around your shoulder brought you out of your memories. You leaned back into his chest, pouring the water over the tea bags. You spun around and wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your face against his chest. You always loved how warm he was, you didn’t normally get cold, thank you serum, but you still loved snuggling close to him whenever you got the chance. You both froze when you heard the knocking at the door, grabbing the gun you kept in the drawer you and Bucky shuffled towards the door, remaining as quiet as possible. You couldn’t help but shake your head at the deja-vu of seeing Steve standing outside your door looking just a little bit lost. You looked over at Bucky, lowering your gun and tilting your head to let him know it was ok. Cracking open the door you scanned the halfway, before ushering him in. You heard Bucky’s gasp when he saw who it was. Locking the door you turned to face your guest.

“Hey there Cap, what can we do for you at, oh 3 in the morning,” you asked glancing at the clock on the stove.

“They are getting ready to start the trials for the information that Shield “leaked”.”

You caught Bucky’s eyes and knew that it was the end of your time out of the world of Shield and Hydra. There was sadness and resignation in his eyes but also determination.

“So what do we need to do?” He asked.

“The best thing would be for you to come live in the Avenger’s tower. We will give you time to get accustomed to it before we look into putting you on missions. The council will look at you more favorably if you are actively trying to make up for your past.” He stated, speaking as if he were ordering a cup of coffee. You tensed at that,

“Does the council understand that we had absolutely no choice in our past? Maybe we could take them to a hydra base and show them what it’s like to have your brain emptied and someone else’s will forced on you.” you spat.

“I know, Y/N trust me, I think it’s stupid for them to have these trials at all. You and Bucky have been through enough as it is but there is nothing we can do, not if you want to live a life where you aren’t constantly on the run.” He assured, his voice softening at you obvious distress. You collapsed into yourself at the kindness in his voice.

“I’m sorry Steve, I shouldn’t take my anger out on you. When do we leave?”

“It would be best if we leave now. We will get all of your stuff to the tower as quickly as we can, but we need you to come back with me. We already have rooms set up for you and we want you to leave at night, fewer eyes on you.” You closed your eyes and dropped onto the arm of the couch at his words. You knew this was coming but you thought you would have a bit of a warning so that you could prepare. Yeah, the apartment you were in wasn’t great, but it was home and it was the first place you had truly felt safe and happy. Bucky placed his hand on your shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze. You lifted your head and eyed Steve,

“Fine, but give us thirty minutes to pack the essentials.” You went to your room, not waiting for his answer. Bucky walked in shortly after, stopping your angry packing and pulling you into a tight hug.

“It’s going to be ok my little sunflower. I know we both wanted more time to ourselves before being dragged into this, but we will make it work, and we won’t do anything that we disagree with. Our decisions will be ours and our alone. Ok?” you relaxed into the hug and nodded. He pulled you back and gave you a quick kiss and started helping you throw all the things you needed, including the few pictures that you had into your duffle bags. You walked into the kitchen and grabbed your coffee cups, pouring out the now cold tea before packing them as well. If Steve thought it was strange he had the courtesy not to say anything. You had changed out of your pajamas as you packed, so as soon as you packed the mugs you were ready to go. Shrugging your duffle bag onto your shoulder, you took one last look around your apartment. You took it in, seeing a movie of memories flash before your eyes. You pulled your eyes forward before steeling yourself, grabbing Bucky’s hand and nodding to Steve. Stepping out of your home for the past 6 months you faced an unknown future. But with Bucky by your side, and Steve at your back you knew that you would be able to face anything.


	7. Nothing is simple Sunflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving into Avengers tower should have been simple. But when a forgotten memory comes to the surface everything becomes a lot more complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit darker, mainly during the flashback. If you want to skip it just skip over the part in italics

Stepping out of the car, equal parts nervous and excited you stared at the extravagant building in front of you. Even after living here for a year you still couldn’t get over the sheer size of the Avengers tower. It would be different this time around. This time the avengers already trust you, this time you won’t be a prisoner, this time they actually wanted you here. Your eyes landed on Bucky as he stepped out of the car, a look of nervousness in his eyes. His eyes slid from the building to you, and you gave him a smile, reaching out you grasped his hand, giving it a small squeeze to reassure him that everything would be ok. He was not alone, you were there. 

Hearing the digging of the elevator informing you that you had reached your destination, Bucky and Steve stepped out in front of you. Stepping out to follow, you were met by Tony Stark. Every muscle in your body tensed as you stared wide-eyed at the man in front of you. A memory surfaced, one that you had completely forgotten, one that you had been forced to forget. After receiving the serum you were thrown into training and by the time that a year had passed you had excelled and they decided to send you on a mission. A very special mission with the Soldier, in America. 

You gasped and backed away from the man in front of you, images flashing before your eyes. It couldn’t be, how could you have been there, you’re only 24. You weren’t alive back then but the memory was clear and unmistakable. You killed this man’s parents. Every inch of you was shaking, you had to escape, you couldn’t stay here. They weren’t safe, what else could you have forgotten, what else had Hydra wiped from your mind. Tony, Steve, and Bucky were staring at you a mixture of confusion and concern on their faces. Saying nothing, you slammed your hand on the lobby button, the doors closing before they could react. As soon as the doors opened you were running, away from the elevator, away from the memories and the man who triggered them, and away from Bucky. 

Running until all you could see were the trees of Central park around you, running until you found a quiet place to collapse. Gulping breaths were all that could be heard in the clearing as you stared up at the branches above you. Your head reeling as you tried to make sense of the thoughts and images that swirled around in your head. Your life was a lie, everything that you thought you knew about yourself was a lie. You had always believed that you were impervious to their mind games, how wrong you were. What else had they programmed into you that you were helpless to fight. You closed your eyes, trying to block out the world around you. The blackness of your eyelids was comforting until you were pulled into the memory that you only saw glimpses of the moment you saw Tony. 

* * *

_Waking from a dreamless sleep you looked at the white walls around you. Your home as your dad would say, more like a cell you thought to yourself. There was a banging as the door was thrown open revealing one of Hydra’s scientists._

_“Up, soldier. It’s time for you to go on your first mission.” you stood and followed the scientist, not understanding what was about to happen to you. He led you to a chair that looked more like a tilted table with cuffs attached. The sight of it was familiar although you couldn’t seem to remember why._

_“Sit,” he ordered pointing towards the seat. You immediately obeyed, reaching it you were immediately strapped down. Your heart was pounding, a rubber mouthpiece was shoved into your mouth, your whole body began to tremble in fear. What were they going to do, you hadn’t done anything wrong, you followed every single rule no matter how much you hated them._

_You could feel the tears welling in your eyes start streaking down your face. You wanted your dad, where was he, he would save you, wouldn’t he? They would never do anything to you without him there, would they? A headpiece was brought down and wires were attached to your temples. Your world came crashing down when you heard the voice that you hoped would save you, instead condemn you._

_“Wipe her,” came the commanding voice of your father, “We need her ready for her first mission.”_

_Then there was pain, white-hot and agonizing, you felt as if your brain was being scrambled. Your thoughts growing farther and farther apart, being replaced with nothingness. When the pain stopped your hearing was muffled as if your ears were filled with cotton._

_“Perfect, a blank slate,” the voice sounded far away, “say her trigger words.” \_

_The voice didn’t register, you felt as if you couldn’t understand anything that was happening around you. Then you heard the first word. Every muscle in your body pulled taut at the word. Panicking you tried to move, to fight what was happening but you had no control over your body. And then came the second word. You could hear screaming, you wondered where it was coming from. You wanted to help whoever it was, they sounded as if they were in agony. Wait, was that screaming you? And so the next seven words passed each one causing you to lose more and more of yourself. When the words stopped you felt as if you were watching yourself from behind a piece of glass. Another version of you stood on the other side, hard and cold, with no emotions on the little girl's face. You heard the orders but couldn’t refuse, you watched as the girl in front of you spoke_

_“Ready to comply.”_

_It sounded like your voice. You screamed in your mind, you couldn’t stop from moving on command. The little girl listening to her orders with determination, she would not let them down. You watched helplessly as you were introduced to the asset that you would be accompanying on the mission. The little girl and the Asset were dressed in all black with a cacophony of weapons strapped all over them, the girl had wicked-looking knives that she was partial to, strapped to each of her thighs. There was no fear in the girl's eyes as they headed towards their objective, that and every other emotion had been stripped from her._

_Their motorcycle pulled up to the car that carried their targets. The tech genius Howard Stark, his wife Maria, and the load of super-soldier serum in the trunk. Bucky slashed their tires with his metal arm. Your bike tires screeched as he brought it to a halt. The girl stalked forward, coming upon Howard trying to crawl out of the wreckage. She heard him plead for the life of his wife. You screamed and banged on the prison of your mind, watching in horror as she reached down and snapped his neck. Heading over to the passenger side as Bucky pulled the serum from the trunk, she pulled out a syringe full of liquid and stabbed it into Maria’s neck. Maria’s eyes widened as she tried to fight before her whole body went limp. Bucky dragged Howard back into the car, making it all look like an accident._

* * *

You sprang up from your place on the grass, eyes searching the area around you. Your shoulders relaxing slightly as you realized that you were in Central Park, not on a dark street in Washington DC. Dropping your head into your hands, you allowed yourself to cry. All of the emotions that Hydra had taken from you in your memory coming out in a torrent. It was dark before your tears subsided, you slowly stood, brushing the grass from your pants. You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and began the long walk back to Stark Tower. As much fear as you had at the prospect of facing Tony and Bucky and the rest of the team, you didn’t know where else to go. You would have to tell them what you just discovered eventually and with this sort of information, the sooner the better.

The tower was right in front of you when a black shadow rushed up to you pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. Tensing at the unexpected feeling you ran through different ways to defend yourself before realizing that you recognized the arms around you. You leaned into Bucky for a moment before he pulled back, 

“What the hell?” he shouted, “What happened? Why did you run? You scared the shit out of me!” His voice softened on his final words. 

You stared at the ground, not able to look him in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” your voice came out broken, “I have something I have to tell you,” you can hear steps coming up to your right, “and him,” you state pointing at Tony. He looked at you confused,

“Why me?” You shook your head, you didn’t want to talk about it here on the street. 

“In fact,” you said, “It may be best if we gather everyone together, I don’t want to have to explain what happened any more than I have to.” They nodded at you, still confused at why you ran away. You headed towards the building, dreading the conversation that was about to occur. 

* * *

You stared at the group of people before you, people that you knew and loved. People who were about to hate you. 

“I’m sorry for running away earlier. I know that you were all worried and it was wrong of me.” you could see the forgiveness in their eyes, as you paused before continuing. 

“When I walked in and saw Tony’s face I remembered something, something terrible. I know that I have explained to you how my father experimented on me with the super-soldier serum. What I didn’t tell you was he started these experiments when I was 10.” you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.   
“But something I didn’t realize was that it didn’t happen fourteen years ago like I thought it was, it was twenty-four.” They looked a little shocked at that wondering how the hell a twenty-four-year-old turned ten, twenty-three years ago.

“I turned eleven in 1991 and was given my first mission. After the mission, they put me in cryosleep to help keep me in their control. But that wasn’t the first time I was placed in cryosleep, I was actually born in the 1970s once they gave me the serum at ten they put me on ice. For some unknown reason they took me out again in 1990, they trained me hard that whole year to prepare me.” You took a deep breath, steeling yourself before continuing. 

“One morning I was woken up and taken to a machine that I had seen them use on Bucky when I was five although I didn’t understand what exactly it did at the time. They hooked me up and all I could feel was pain, and when the pain ended, I had no control over my mind or body. They used trigger words on me and I was helpless to resist. They gave us our mission and next thing I know Bucky and I were in America. We caught up to our mark, Bucky slashed their tires causing them to crash. He got the serum but I, I was the one who took care of the marks.” 

You couldn’t look at any of them ashamed of what you were admitting and wishing that you had been stronger. You knew they were looking at you expectantly, you felt Bucky’s hand grab yours and a soft hand on your shoulder, glancing over you saw Nat’s signature red hair. She spoke softly to you, urging you to continue 

“Who were the targets, Y/n/n” 

You clasped your hands together, squeezing your eyes closed. Bile rose in your throat at the thought of saying the names. A sob ripped past your lips as you fought with yourself. You let your eyes drift up to look at your friends, momentarily taking in their worried expressions before moving to stare at the ceiling. Breathing in your eyes found Tony, the concern in his eyes killing you. 

“Howard and Maria Stark.” your voice came out small, breaking in the middle of your words. 

You watched the emotions that crossed Tony’s face. Pain, hurt, grief, anger, settling on betrayal. His eyes cut through you as he collapsed into his seat. You watched as he dropped his head into his hands and took deep breaths. Abruptly standing, he walked out of the room, leaving silence in his wake. You felt as if you wanted to cease existing and save him the pain of your past. Natasha pulled you into her arms, cradling your head to her chest, rubbing your back with her other hand.

"Shhh, little one, you are not to blame for this, and Tony will realize this. Give him time." You nodded against her, a sob making its way past your lips. Once it started, you couldn't stop, shoulders shaking as you cried onto the assassin. Her hold firm but her hands soft as she comforted you. You finally slowed your tears and pulled away, you looked over at Bucky, his hand still in yours. He looked absolutely stricken, he had known Howard, had been good friends with him, and yet he had had a hand in his death. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Tony's rough voice coming from the doorway. 

"You said you were 11 when they forced you to do this?" You nodded slowly noticing his use of the word forced.

"And you said that you were born in the 70s, do you know what year?" You looked over to him confused, 

"I'm not a hundred percent sure but I remember seeing a birth certificate once when I broke into the file room. I think it said 1970, I know that my birthday is on May 29th, since that is the day I received my soul mark, but I'm not sure of the year." His face became white as a sheet at your words.

"No," he said in disbelief, face crumpling. 

"No, it can't be" his voice came out as a whisper this time, he stood and walked over to you. Taking in your features, tears shining in his eyes. 

"Give me your hand," he spoke with urgency, you complied, still wondering where this was going. Pricking your finger on one of his medical tools he addressed Jarvis.

"Jarvis, run the sample I just took and check familial matches." He called, confusing you even more. He waited impatiently for Jarves' report, pacing back and forth in the middle of the room. Everyone's eyes were on him, wondering what exactly he could be thinking.

"Sir, I was able to find a direct familial match to the sample," Jarvis answered 

Tony nodded staring at you as he asked the next question

"Who did the sample match?"

"The sample was a 100% match to you, Sir"

The room seemed to spin at his words. You grabbed Nat's hand to steady yourself. 

"What does that mean?” your voice came out as a squeak, as you tried to wrap your mind around the information that Jarvis had just shared.

“What is he saying?" you were more desperate this time, stepping towards Tony as you spoke. He took a deep breath looking you straight in the eyes as he turned your whole world upside down. 

"He is saying that Hydra forced an 11-year-old girl to kill her own parents. He is saying that my parents were lied to at the hospital. He is saying, sweet girl, that you, Y/N, are my twin sister."


	8. Little Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has some explaining to do

When you were little, you had looked up to your father, what little girl didn’t believe that their father hung the moon? That quickly changed when you were five and your father took you with him to work. You had always wondered what kind of father could have done the things that your father did to you. Now you understood. A father who wasn’t your father at all. 

Your eyes were wide as you stared at Tony, your thoughts going a million miles an hour, racing past in an almost unintelligible stream. Wait, he’s your brother? Not only your brother but your twin brother? That meant your father wasn’t actually your father. You weren’t related to that asshole at all! Fuck. fuck. You… you killed… how could you… how could he… no. no. no. There had to be a mistake, you couldn’t have. And yet. 

All eyes were on you. Watching your emotions race across your face, watching as your eyes widened in understanding. Watching as your eyes glassed over and you broke. 

The ground was hard, unforgiving under the weight of your body. Legs no longer willing to hold you as grief washed over you. A strange feeling of warmth brought you back. A hand sure and strong on your arm, a lifeline, pulling you out of the depths of your grief. Eyes focusing on the face of your soulmate crouching in front of you, concern etched in every line of his skin. Blinking the tears away you looked at him, the man you had saved, the only good thing you had ever done. His words rumbling in your ears as he murmured to you.

“Come back to me my love, the past no longer holds you, I am here.”

His voice pulling you firmly out of the abyss. Staring at his features just a moment longer before looking at the man who called himself your brother. 

“How?” your voice sounded scratchy in your ears, “How are you my twin?”

Tony’s eyes were soft as he gazed at you, everyone else turned to him, waiting for the explanation.

“When I was young,” He began, taking a seat on the floor in front of you, “my parents told me that I was not meant to be an only child. I had a twin, a sister. My mother’s labor was long and arduous, we were not positioned in the best way for an easy birth. When I came out I was slightly blue, apparently, I wasn’t getting enough air while being born. The nurses took care of me, making sure that I suffered no lasting damage. When my sister was born, there was no crying, no sign of life. Mother said that the nurse seemed to be acting strange about it but that she was too medicated to do anything. The nurse pronounced the baby dead and took her from the room. My parents never saw her again, and they never truly recovered from it. When they first told me about it I thought nothing of it, but as I got older something about the story started to bug me.” He stood up at that, beginning to pace across the room,

“ I began to look into it, I searched for the records of my birth and found the hospital and the name of the nurse that had been in the room. I discovered that shortly after my birth she was found dead in an alley, a single gunshot wound to the head. That obviously piqued my curiosity and I searched deeper. I finally found that she had been given a large sum of money days prior to my birth. She was paid to steal one of Howard Starks’ babies. I found the proof in the police reports, they cataloged anything suspicious or strange at the nurse’s house. Specifically a note, she had written the day before she was killed, she said that she was sorry and that she had been forced. She didn’t give a name but in the corner, she drew an octopus.” He stopped, letting the information soak in. His body in front of your spot on the floor. Wide eyes looked up at him, your mouth parted in shock, realization flooding over you 

“Hydra,” the name came from your lips little more than a breath. “Hydra paid her to steal me from my family.” Tony nodded slowly face solemn. “I could have been normal, I could have been raised by someone who loved me. My whole life is a lie.” 

Anger and confusion began to bubble in your veins, thoughts of how much different your life could have been. Your fists clenching as the man you had called father flashed before your eyes. You stood quickly looking around at your friends, all of their eyes filled with pity save one. Bucky looked angry, pissed at the people that had done this to you. He caught your eyes and you motioned for him to follow you, 

“I need a minute, I need to release some steam, or I will explode. I am going to the training room, I need to punch something and I’d rather it not be one of you.” Turning quickly you stalked to the practice rooms. Stripping out of your jacket and shoes, wrapping your hands before stepping onto the mats. Bucky mirrored your movements, knowing exactly what you needed. Stepping on the mat in front of you, he didn’t speak, he simply waited for you to make the first move. Stepping forward you struck, Buky blocking with one arm and throwing a punch with the other. Ducking you avoid his fist, bringing up your leg and kicking him in the stomach sending him back a couple of steps. And so you continued, falling into a steady rhythm, moving around each other in a violent dance. Years of training together are obvious in the knowledge you had of each other's bodies, knowing each other's weak points and yet choosing not to exploit them, at least not this time. Grabbing his arm during a punch and using your momentum to throw your legs over his shoulders you pull him to the ground in a chokehold. Both of you breathing hard as he taps out, your anger spent. You are ready to talk. Turning to leave the room, you are surprised to see Tony standing near the door watching. 

“Hey,” you say, walking up to him.

“Hey, nice fighting there.” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah, well I’ve had a lot of practice,” you shrug, not knowing what else to say about it.

“Come on,” he said throwing his arm around your shoulder, “Let go talk, I know a great spot”

Tony leads you to the kitchen grabbing you water and a snack, and whiskey for himself, before leading you to the elevator. He presses a button that needs his fingerprint and you feel the elevator begin to rise. You end up on a roof terrace. 

“This is my secret place, the place I go when the world and my lab get to be too much.” He gestures to the green space around you, a small couch and table in the middle surrounded by a multitude of plants. You can’t help but smile, it seems so opposite to the Tony you know to have a secret garden, and yet, it makes perfect sense. He leads you over to the couch, relaxing for a moment before speaking.

“I know that you’ve had a lot to take in today and it’s getting late but I really wanted to be able to talk with you before sleeping.” he seems nervous as he speaks as if he isn’t sure just how you will respond. To ease his nerves you give him a small smile.

“I would like that,” you state, turning on the couch so that you are facing him. “I still can’t believe that I’m your twin sister, especially considering that you’re now physically older than me. I hate that we didn’t get the chance to grow up together.” your brow furrowing as you speak, thinking about all the things that you missed out on.

“Hey,” He says softly placing his hand on yours, “it’s not your fault, and I’m just happy to get to spend time with you now, knowing that you are my sister.” Nodding, you try to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Can you forgive me?” your voice comes out as a broken whisper, “I killed our parents.” your head drops, and you feel the tears well up. “I murdered our father as he begged for our mom’s life, and at the time I felt no remorse. How could you ever forgive me? How can I ever forgive myself?” Your whole body trembled as you started to sob. 

Tony pulls you into his arms holding you close as only an older brother can do, comforting you as the tears pour down your face. 

“Oh little one,” his voice is soft, “How could I ever hate you? How could I not forgive you for something that you had no control over? There was nothing that you could do, the only one to blame for this is Hydra. Not you, not ever.” you pull back looking into his face, searching for any condemnation and yet finding none. 

“I will admit that at first, I was furious, I couldn’t believe that someone I trusted could have done that to my parents. Then I walked away, and all I could hear was your broken voice saying that they did this to you when you were only 11. You were still a child and yet they did this to you.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing, 

“I met this kid a couple of years ago, his name is Harley, he helped me out when I needed it. I thought about how old you were when this happened and my mind saw him. How would I feel if this kid came up to me and told me the same thing that you just did? As soon as I saw him, my anger at you was gone. My anger at Hydra on the other hand is alive and well.” His lip tugged up for a moment before falling. 

“You’re my sister, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know what it’s like to have a family that loves you.” He paused for a second before grinning, “Now about the Winter Soldier.” You smacking him lightly, chuckling through your tears.

“He’s my soulmate, so sucks for you, but he’s not going anywhere. I’ve worked too damn hard to get us free and safe to lose him now.” There was a ferocity in your voice as you spoke, Tony smiled to himself as he heard it, you had your spark back, he had been afraid that it was gone after everything that happened that day.

He raised his hands up in a placating manner, 

“Alright, Alright the grizzly bear stays! Although I’m not sure how I feel about my little sister living in the same room as a boy.” The teasing sound of his voice and shit-eating grin causing you to laugh.

“Well tough, you may be my brother but that doesn’t mean you get to choose who I sleep with,” you said, grinning at the fake shock on his face at your words.

“Well I never,” His voice took on a thick fake southern accent, his hand dramatically clutching his heart, “That is no way for a young lady to speak!” 

You giggled again leaning against him. You sat like that for a long while, just soaking in everything you learned today and how much your life had changed in the last two years. Stretching, you finally stood, 

“I should go find Bucky,” you said looking at Tony, who was still seated. “I know he’s worried about me and we need to talk about everything.” Tony smiled, 

“Well, I think I’ll just stay up here for a while and have a bit of a drink.” He raised the whiskey glass in his hand. “Let me know if you need anything and just ask Jarvis to lead you to your room if you need, it’s the same one as last time.” You nodded, giving him a small smile,

“Goodnight big brother,” 

“Goodnight, little one.” 

Walking into your room you were happy to see that it was mostly the same as last time, all of your stuff still on the walls. The main difference was the muscley man leaning against the headboard. His hair laid limp on his head, still wet from the shower, he must have taken. His eyes opened at the sound of you entering and he quickly stood and pulled you into a hug. You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped when you felt Bucky shake his head.

“Shh Sunflower, we don’t need to talk about it right now. You are still the same woman I fell in love with, we just know a little bit more about where you came from now.” 

You smiled into his chest, heartwarming at his words. Of course, he understood, who could understand more? You thanked your lucky star that this wonderful man is your soulmate. He pulled back, quickly kissing your forehead,

“Ok doll, it’s been a day. Go on and take a hot shower, make it as long as you need, and then when you’re done we can lay down.” He gently pushed you towards the bathroom. Stepping away from his warmth you grabbed onto his hand, pulling him with you. 

The heat from the water running over your shoulders caused you to sigh. You were leaning forward, forehead pressed against Bucky’s chest as he gently washed your hair. Gently massaging the knots in your shoulders, causing your eyes to shut in exhaustion. He finished helping you wash up and gently helped dry you off. The adrenaline from the day had faded, leaving you dead on your feet. Picking you up, bridal style, he walked you over to the bed and softly laid you down, turning off the lights before he finally joined you. You snuggled into his chest, basking in the feeling of his heartbeat. The last thing you heard before succumbing to sleep was bucky’s soft voice, 

“Sleep my little sunflower, I’ve got you.”


	9. Forgive Me, Sunflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Bucky wakes up to your bed empty and a strange note on your pillow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you figure out what the hidden message is?  
> Also, thoughts are in italics

Life in the tower fell into a peaceful rhythm. Waking up before the sun, heading down to the training rooms. Beating the shit out of Bucky, occasionally you let him win, then breakfast with everyone. Steve and Bucky always made sure to go for a run together, while they were out you went upstairs and sat in the lab with Tony. You may not have had a normal childhood but your “father” hadn’t let your education suffer, we believed that knowledge was everything. So, you were able to help out occasionally with the problems that arose. **  
**

While he worked Tony enjoyed telling you stories, about himself and your parents. You quickly felt as though you got the chance to know them. As much as you loved these stories it broke your heart that you were the reason they were no longer here. 

Tony was finishing one such story when he noticed the dejected look on your face, he quickly switched to telling you about how he became Iron Man. He explained the cave and the fear he felt while stuck there, although he would never admit that to anyone else. He told you of the man who helped him and saved his life, of his sacrifice and the change it caused in Tony’s life. He told you about being betrayed by the man he had trusted the most, you could relate to that. 

Life was good, really good. You felt safe with the people around you, you felt loved and trusted. You felt like you had a family. But of course nothing lasts forever.

* * *

You lived in peace for two months. Two months of happiness and tranquility, or as much tranquility as a group of superheroes are able to have. The tranquility was shattered one morning about a week before the avengers were to go to trial. 

Waking up that morning Bucky got ready as always, he headed down to the training rooms and was surprised to see that you had yet to arrive. Weird, you always arrived before him. He went back to the elevator and headed to your room, some nights you liked to sleep in a space that was your own. Opening the door his eyes fell on your empty bed, it was still made, as if you never made it to bed last night. Worried he hurried over to your bathroom and knocked,

“Hey sunflower, you in there?” the silence that answered him was overwhelming, you weren’t here. 

_Where on earth could you be?_ Upon closer inspection of your room his eyes fell upon a note laid purposefully on your pillow. He carefully made his way over, watching closely for any trip wires. Lifting the card from your pillow he cut open the top with one of the knives on his belt. His eyes scanned the note, he felt the breath leave his lungs, _was this some kind of sick joke?_ He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down before rereading the paper in his hand.

Bucky,

Hello, I'm sorry that I must tell you this in a letter, sunflower. But the time has come I must leave before the sun is up. I can't follow your dreams for us anymore. I have my own and they don't involve you right now. We are done my sunflower. Don't try to find me 

Your star,

Ps forgive me

There was something off about the way the note was written. It was worded strangely, it didn’t sound like you at all. Not to mention the fact that you would never leave your soulmate like this. He thought back to the night before, you had been just as cuddly as normal, you had fallen asleep on him during the movie that you were all watching. He had gently woken you and walked with you to your room, you had given him a quick kiss and a smile before walking through the door. Bucky shook his head, bringing himself back to the problem at hand. He examined the wording carefully, looking for anything that would explain where you were. _There it was, oh you clever, beautiful woman._ Of course that would be your message, there is only one explanation as to where you are. _Fuck._ His face paled as the meaning of your message sunk in. You had been forced to write this message and yet you had found a way to tell him who it was. Hydra.

* * *

Your day was going well, you had a great time training this morning, you had pinned Bucky no less than three times. Tony had been in a good mood while you sat with him, his newest project was going smoothly and he was excited to see it in action. The best part had been the movie night that the group decided to have. You fell asleep on Bucky, how could you not, he is just so warm. He had taken you back to your room and you had kissed him at the door before parting ways. That is when it all went to shit. A hand closed over your mouth and a gun pressed to your temple. Your brain was still fuzzy with sleep, putting you at a disadvantage, it was quickly clearing but not quite as quickly as you needed. As the fog began to clear you began debating the best way to incapacitate the guy who currently had his hand on your mouth. So focused on the man behind you, you almost didn’t notice when a shadow moved in the corner in front of you. Almost, the moment that the movement registered in your tired brain you froze.

“Please don’t try to escape, we need you to come with us.” The disembodied voice was eerily familiar although you couldn’t figure out why.

You struggled against the iron grip of the man behind you, at the prompting of the man in the corner, he slowly lowered his hand from your mouth allowing you to speak.

“And why the hell do you think I would do that?” you spat at him.

“Simple,” his calm demeanor was starting to give you the creeps, how could he be so calm right now? “If you don’t we will kill every single person in this building and maybe their families too while we are at it.” your eyebrows rose at his statement, 

“Just the two of you?” disbelief evident in your voice.

He laughed, a humorous thing, it sent chills down your back.

“Of course not, stupid girl, there are more of us in this building right now. If you cooperate then they won’t need to be used, they will leave as soon as we do.”

_How could you trust him to keep his word? But if you didn’t go with him then there was no way for you to protect everyone._ You head swam, you knew he wouldn’t wait long for your answer.

“Fine, but you have to swear that you and your men will leave everyone else in this building alone.” 

“You have my word, he only wants you right now anyway.”

“He?” your curiosity got the best of you

“Hydra, of course, now I need you to write a letter, one that explains your absence. One that explains that you don’t want anyone looking for you.” His voice was firm, and you knew that you had no choice.

You nodded your agreement, and the man behind you loosened his grip, but the gun stayed trained on you. You walked to your desk and brought out a pen and some paper, taking a second to figure out how to let Bucky know that you were in danger. The solution popped in your mind and you jotted down your note, hoping that he would understand. As soon as you were done they tied your hands together and pulled you to their escape route. With surprising speed and ease they got you out of the building and thrust you into a car. You fought against your bonds until a needle was shoved in your neck, blackness filled your vision and your eyelids felt like lead, the last thing you heard was a man barking directions before sleep took you.

_Cold._ All you can feel is overwhelming cold. Whatever you were laying on felt like ice. Fighting against the weight of your eyelids struggling against the darkness that held you. _Voices_ , you could hear voices in the background. Trying to focus on their words but unable to understand what they meant. _Wake up_ , you thought. _Wake up! WAKE UP!_ Forcing your eyes open you flinched as a blinding light forced you to snap them shut. _Breathe._ Slowly opening your eyes, you take in your surroundings, it looks familiar. _Fuck. You were back, they had you again, and you walked right into their arms._ Tears welled up in your eyes causing your vision to waver. _No, you would not cry, you refuse to cry. They don’t get to see you break._ A voice brought you out of your thoughts, eyes shooting to the door. _No, no no no no. Not him, anyone but him._ But his voice was unmistakable, your heart dropped, your father. _No_ you remind yourself, _not your father, just an asshole that stole you from your family and forced you to become a monster._ You would not let them break you. The door swung open and the face that has been haunting your nightmares since you escaped walked into view, a cold and calculating smile on his lips. 

“Well, well. It is so good to have you back, my daughter. I so missed having you here.” fake sincerity that made your toes curl laced his voice. The gag in your mouth kept you from spitting on him, all you could do was glare. You felt so helpless. He always made you feel so fucking helpless.

“Now now, sweet girl, no need for anger, you must have forgotten that all I have ever wanted is the best for you. You lost yourself these past two years, but don’t worry we will soon remedy that.” He stepped towards you, a rope in his hand, you looked up at him, eyes widening in fear and anger, _this was going to hurt_.

* * *

Bucky ran into the common room, eyes scanning the room widely, gone was the cool calm and collected Bucky. This Bucky had just lost his soulmate to the very people that you had finally been able to escape. He will do anything to get her back. His eyes fell on Tony pouring himself some coffee into a mug you had recently bought for him. Bucky stalked over to him, trying to keep his overwhelming fear from showing on his face. Tony looked up at him as he walked closer, giving him a smirk,

“Hey there grizzly bear, someone steal your honey and piss in your cheerios?” His smile fell as he studied the soldier, Tony had never seen him like this, something terrible had happened.

“What is it? What happened?” Going from playful to serious in a split second. His eyes scanned the room and noticed the lack of his sister, “Where is Y/N?”

Bucky couldn’t seem to answer, he just held out the note. Quickly reading it Tony ended up even more confused,

“there has to be a mistake, she would never leave like this.” desperation coloring his tone and he looked back at Bucky. Bucky shook his head, 

“She didn’t, she was forced to write it. She left a hidden message, she was taken by Hydra.” 

“Fuck!” Tony had to stop himself from throwing his mug across the room, it was a gift from you and he would hate himself if anything happened to it.

“Ok what can we do, we need to find her.” He started to ramble about all of the things he could do and how they could get to her before Bucky held up a hand to quiet him. 

“I think I know where she is. There is a Hydra base in upstate New York, they don’t know that I know about it. I was supposed to be under their control when they took me there but I was slipping, more of myself than the soldier at the time.” He spoke quickly, he wanted to get to her as soon as possible. Tony nodded and called for Jarvis to gather everyone in the mission room. They filed in confused as to what was going on, Steve was the last one to sit down. 

“Y/N has been taken by Hydra and we are going to get her back.” Bucky was clear and concise as he explained the plan to them. If everything went according to plan they should have her back in the next two days. 

* * *

Time meant nothing to you. You couldn’t tell how long you had been back in the clutches of the asshole you used to call father. Has it been a day? A week? A month? All you knew was pain. Your thoughts felt fragmented. Like dandelion fluff in the wind. _Bucky would come. Keep Bucky safe. All that matters is keeping him safe. Don’t let them see you break._ Your head lolled to the side when you heard the door open. _He was back, couldn’t he just leave you alone?_ Freezing water was thrown over your battered body, you bit your tongue to keep from gasping. Cuts stinging from onslaught, the deeper gashes on your tattoos making the water run red.

“Hello, sweetheart, I think you’re ready to be our soldier again.” His eyes were filled with glee at the prospect of being back in control of you, he had so many ideas of what he would have you do, who he would have you kill. He paused, letting the news sink in before continuing.

“There is no way you can hold out this time.” Your eyes slid from his face, too tired to focus, too tired to fight. The scientist minions unstrapped your limp body from the table that had been your home since you arrived. They dragged you, feet scraping against the floor, to the machine that you had hoped to never see again, the blender. They threw you into the chair and strapped you down, removing the gag and shoving a rubber piece into your mouth. You wanted to fight but you couldn’t feel your arms. They placed the helmet on your head and turned the machine on. 

* * *

Bucky, forced himself to calm down, they would have you back soon. It had taken them a day to confirm your location and get ready to leave. Now he sat impatiently in the quinjet with the rest of the Avengers, wondering what awaited him at the base. Praying that you were ok, that he wasn’t too late. A voice came over the intercom letting them know they were 5 minutes out. He stood keeping his hands busy with getting ready, pushing aside his worry and doubt. You needed him and he wasn’t going to let his fear get in the way of saving you.

The plane touched down and the soldier was on the move. Ruthless and concise the soldier cut through the guards and anyone who got in his way. The only person that matters to him is his soulmate, the one he is here to save. He made his way through the base quickly, his steps never faltering as he moved towards the room that he knew they would have you in. The room that was the scene of every one of his nightmares. He busted through the door and stepped into the room, the one with the blender, the one where they brainwashed him. 

For the first time during the mission his steps faltered, the soldier was devastated by what he saw. You, alive yes, but battered and bruised, face pale and blood running from multiple cuts. A dark purple bruise obvious around your throat. Your face was full of bruises and cuts, your arms were the same. You were staring straight forward, eyes void and he knew he had failed you. He moved to step towards you but your fathers voice caused him to stop.

“Soldier, are you ready to comply?” Bucky wanted to punch the grin off of his face but all he could do was watch. 

“Ready to comply.” your voice was ice, lacking any of its usual warmth and emotion.

“Kill the winter Soldier, I have no more need for him.” You snapped to attention, turning to your enemy, deciding the best way to attack. You charged. Bucky brought his arm up in time to block your attack, moving quickly to protect himself without hurting you. You quickly flipped him on his back, standing over him, he looked at you with defeat, he couldn’t hurt you, not this time. A twinkle came to your eyes that hadn’t been there a moment before, and you did the last thing he was expecting, you winked. Bucky moved quickly rolling out of your grasp, keeping up the ruse and noticed that your blows were softer than they would be in a normal fight, you were still there. You yanked his pistol out of his holster and pointed it at him, finger on the trigger. 

“Well,” came your father's voice, impatience coloring his tone,

“what are you waiting for? Shoot him.” Bucky saw your trigger finger twitch before you moved, a shot ringing out in the otherwise quiet space. 

Blinking Bucky turned to see the body of your father fall to the ground, bullet lodged between his eyes. Shaking off the sense of deja vu he looked back towards you. Although your actions showed that you were still at least sort of in control of your body, he could tell that the soldier was at the controller. He took a cautious step towards you. You spun, and pointed the gun at him, a glimmer of recognition in your eyes before you slowly lowered the gun. Bucky reached for the gun keeping his movements slow as he released your hold on it. Gently grasping your chin, he turned you to look at him. 

“Hello, my star,” His voice was soft, “It’s your sunflower, it’s time for you to come back to me.” Your eyes seemed to focus for a moment before you spoke,

“I have to finish my mission.” your voice was firm

“What is your mission, my star?” he asked, keeping your eyes trained on him. 

“To keep my soulmate safe, that has always been my mission.” you looked confused at his question as if the answer should have been obvious. He smiled, cupping your cheek in his hand.

“I am safe, my star, your sunflower is safe. Your mission is complete, you can let go.” At his words, your eyes rolled back and you collapsed. His arms wrapping around you before you could hit the floor. Bucky picked you up and began to carry you out of the godforsaken base. 

You wake for a moment as he carries you towards the exit, seeing his face, you were able to relax for the first time in days.

“Bucky?”

“Hush, little one, I have you now, we are heading home.” 

* * *

The next time you woke up you were in the tower hospital, feeling weak but better than you had when you passed out. Your eyes were drawn towards the hand that currently engulfed yours, it was connected to the sleeping form of your handsome soulmate. Reaching across yourself with your free hand you ran your fingers through his hair. The soft feeling, waking him up from his sleep. Raising his head Bucky looked at you. Tears forming in his eyes as he noticed you were awake.

“Hi,” your voice was rough from screaming. His eyes softened, his metal hand coming up to rest on your cheek.

“Hi yourself, little one, you scared the shit out of me.” you chuckled at him

“Wasn’t my intention love, they got me to go with them because they threatened you. I promised that I would take care of you. I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize, I am just happy that you are back with me and that you are safe.” he rested his forehead against yours as he spoke, as if he could force the words into your head. You cleared your throat, a question at the forefront of your mind.

“What day is it? Did I miss the trials? Knowing them they took me when they did to keep me from testifying, they wanted me to forfeit my right to be heard.” you anxiously awaited his answer, worried that you had ruined everything.

“No, little one, we still have a couple of days before the trials start. You were gone a total of two days, and out of consciousness another. You will still be able to make it to the trial. I have a feeling that your injuries might just swing the jury in your favor.” His lip turned up, but there was pain in his eyes, he drew his hand from yours and gently rested it on your hip where the cuts were the deepest, they had cut you to figure out which tattoo was your soulmark.

“Well I’m glad something good came out of this.” sarcasm evident in your tone as you tried to make light of the situation.

“Well that and the death of the asshole that took you from your parents.” Bucky didn’t try to hind the venom in his voice as he spat out the words. Your eyes widened, 

“Wait what? He’s dead?” Bucky looked confused at your question before understanding washed over him.

“Little one, he turned you into the soldier and told you to kill me. You pulled your punches and when you stole my gun he ordered you to shoot me, but you shot him instead.” 

You could tell that he was a little worried about how you would react. As much as you hated the man you had still believed him to be your father for the majority of your life.

“Good, the bastard deserved it.” you looked away from Bucky’s face as you spoke, shame prickling behind your eyes because of the sadness you felt.

“I do have a question though, how were you able to fight his control? Why didn’t you shoot me?” You looked at him surprised by his question.

“They haven’t truly had control over me since I got my tattoo.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought back to it. “When they tried to activate the soldier after the mark showed up I was able to talk to her. We agreed that you were as much her soulmate as you are mine and that we would both do whatever it takes to protect you. You became our mission.” you took a deep breath before continuing, pulling your eyes from Bucky’s face.

“The soldier and I are one, as much as I hate a lot of the things she did, she had as little of a choice as I did. She takes control when they activate her, but I am no longer trapped in the backseat. I’m able to talk to her, and most of the time, she listens.” 

Bucky looked down at his hands in confusion, wondering if he would ever be able to say the same about himself and the winter soldier. Could they ever work together? He let the thought go as he watched you yawn. 

Picking you up, he took you back to his room, you were well enough to sleep in a real bed tonight. Heaven knows you needed it. He laid you down and pulled you close, smiling at the feeling of you nuzzling into his side. Those questions could wait till later, for now, he would enjoy sleeping next to his soulmate again.


	10. The Verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to be judged, but as always, nothing is ever simple.

The trials began the Monday after you were saved from Hydra. All of the Avengers were being called in for questioning, which was ridiculous but sadly needed. Nat’s was the worst so far, as she always told you, she has a lot of red in her ledger but so did you. You knew that she hated all of the things she had done in the past and you knew having to answer for all of them was affecting her more than she would like to admit. Today it was your turn, to say that you were nervous would be an understatement but you weren’t one to back down from a challenge. Walking into the courtroom, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. You wore a nicer version of your usual attire but you were not going to try to put on a show for these people. If they were going to judge you they would be judging the real you. You knew that you were a sight, with the bruises and cuts that covered your face and arms. You stared forward as you walked towards the judge, not letting anyone see how nervous you really are. The judge called you to the stand, you placed your hand on a bible, swearing that you would say the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth. You sat down at the stand and looked around at the people that had your future in their hands. Some of them looked nervous like they were afraid of you, but some of them looked calm, only one or two were openly glaring at you. You took that as a win. The questioning began.   
Tell the jury your name and your affiliation with Hydra.” You stared at the prosecutor for a moment before answering, why did he look familiar?  
“My name is Y/N Stark,” you heard gasps from some of the people in the audience. “When I was born I was stolen from my family, they believed me dead. I was raised by one of their lead scientists. He told me that he was my father and since he was all that I knew I believed him. He worked for Hydra and raised me in and around a Hydra base. When I was ten they injected me with the super-soldier serum that they had also used on Bucky Barnes. I was brainwashed as used as their soldier.” Your voice was steady as you spoke, not allowing the nerves that you felt to be evident.  
“After they brainwashed you they sent you on assignments? Mostly to assassinate people seen as threats to Hydra. Is that correct?” His voice held disdain for you and you swore you could hear a twinge of glee as he spoke. Your brow furrowed momentarily, why does his voice sound familiar. Something about him struck a chord in your memories but it was fuzzy.   
“That is correct, however, due to the fact that they placed me in a machine that they affectionately and accurately called the blender, I had no control over my mind.”  
“Would you please tell the jury what exactly this “blender” did?” he seemed to revel in your discomfort.  
“It was a machine that you were strapped into, a rubber piece was shoved into your mouth so that you wouldn’t break your jaw, and electrical currents were forced through your head until all that was left was a terrible blankness.” your voice slowly falling as you spoke, the images of your father watching with glee as you were strapped to it several days ago.  
“So they erased your mind?” he seemed incredulous at the possibility, “then how, pray tell, were they able to force you to do missions?”  
You stared at the man in front of you in disbelief, you had long ago learned how to read the emotions of others, he thought you were lying.  
“After wiping us, they had a series of trigger words that would activate the soldier that they had programmed into us. The soldier's main purpose and mission was to serve Hydra. They would do anything to accomplish that.” the iron in your voice seemed to surprise him, he hadn’t expected you to fight back. He thought that you would just roll over and let them punish you for crimes that you had no choice in.  
“You mean that they had full control over you? Please explain.”  
You bit back your anger, you couldn’t let this man anger you, if he succeeded then your cause was lost.   
“Imagine being in a taxi,” eyebrows furrowed throughout the courtroom, that was not what they expected to fall from your lips, “you are in the backseat and there is a piece of bulletproof glass between you and the driver. Now imagine that this driver, driving like a maniac and hitting innocent people. But you, you’re stuck in the backseat, the doors are locked and no matter how hard you pound on that glass or how loudly you scream, you can’t make the driver stop. That is what it feels like for us when the soldier is in control.” the pain from your nails digging into your palms is what grounded you, the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew, something in his eyes was shifting, as if he was deciding something.   
“Well then, do you remember what your trigger words are?” his eyes seemed to glint in the harsh light of the room. You simply shook your head,  
“I have never known, once I hear the first one all I am able to focus on is the pain.”   
“Let me remind you then…” a terrible grin took over his face as he spoke the first word.  
Pain. You were so fucking tired of the pain this brought and by the men that believed that you were nothing more than their tool. He spoke fast, the words rolling off his tongue in Russian and all you could do was clench your fists and wait it out.  
“Ready to Comply.” The words felt natural on the soldier’s lips, always there, always ready.  
The weaselly man in front of you had the audacity to smirk at the soldier.   
“Am I speaking to the soldier or to the girl.” his eyebrow raised as he spoke  
“The soldier.” Her voice was colder than yours, emotionless.  
“Good,” he clapped his hands together, his smile widening, “I have a mission for you, kill them.”  
Her eyes snapped to his, watching his reaction as the soldier spoke.  
“There is only one mission,” her words were clipped, eyes narrowing as she spoke, “you have no control over me.”  
He blanched, stepping back as if struck,  
“I am your master, you will listen to me.” his voice was raised as if he was trying to command her by sheer volume. The rest of the courtroom was watching the interaction in shock, no one dared move. Bucky watched in concern but knew that this was your battle and he would only intervene if absolutely necessary. You and the soldier stared at the man in front of you, seemingly calm, but there was a fire in your eyes.  
“Fuck you. Did you really think that I was able to escape while Hydra was still able to control me with words?” The fire in your voice was barely contained, as you spat the words at him.  
“You are my soldier and I demand that you listen to and obey me!”  
His face was turning red in anger, a fact that you and the soldier found funny.   
“Bold of you to assume that I didn’t come to terms with my demons, I am both the soldier and the girl. I have been since the tattoo showed up, nothing that you could do to me affected me anymore except to cause me pain. Why do you think so many of your targets got away, or the fact that I never showed you any bodies? I am no longer under Hydra’s control, I have made peace with the soldier inside of me, we now have only one mission, and it has nothing to do with hydra.” your teeth were clenched as you spoke, fighting the urge to kill the man in front of you, instead you stood.  
“Men and women of the Jury as well as everyone else present. This man is Hydra, he wanted me to kill you, trying to use the brainwashing methods that they have used on me in the past. I am no longer the woman that I was back then. Neither is Bucky, the man who will be on trial before you tomorrow. We were forced to become soldiers and assassins. We had our memories and emotions ripped from us, in the most painful way imaginable. They placed words in us that would make us their puppets that we have only recently been able to get rid of. I was forced to cover my soul mark from fear of them using it against me. I was tortured in more ways than you can imagine I have been broken and pieced back together so many times that I no longer knew who I was until I was able to escape. I was forced to watch myself kill my parents and have no control over my body as I did. Yes, Bucky and I have committed a multitude of sins. But trust me when I saw that his 70 years and my 30 years under the thumb of Hydra, with no memories and no control, is enough atonement for those sins. But all the same, we will spend the rest of our days with the Avengers, saving as many lives as we can to pay for the ones that we were forced to take.”   
The whole room was silent at your words, all of them surprised by the confidence and power that you exuded. The judge called for the man from Hydra to be taken and put into custody and then called for the Jury to go speak and decide the verdict. You were allowed to leave the stand and go sit by Bucky, reaching for his hand as soon as you sat. No one else could see how much you were shaking except the man beside you, you just wanted this day to be over. You wanted to be back in Tony’s lab eating chocolate and drinking coffee while watching him work. The Jury was gone for an hour, an hour of worry and fear. They filed back in, the lead handing their verdict to the judge. He asked for you to stand.  
“In the case of Y/N vs the united states and Bucky vs the united states” your eyes widened in surprise, they weren’t supposed to decide for Bucky until tomorrow. Hearing his name Bucky calmly stood up beside you. “The jury finds the defendants innocent of all charges. Due to the evidence that the defendants were not acting according to their own will. The jury states that no more action will be necessary as long as the defendants agree to remain as part of the Avengers saving lives instead of ending them”  
He read out the verdict as if he was ordering a Sunday lunch as if it were nothing to him that you were now free. You felt your legs begin to tremble, almost giving out under you before you are pulled into a crushing hug by Bucky and then Tony. You were finally free.


	11. A Moment of Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, you finally get some time to relax after the week you just had

Between being kidnapped by Hydra and worrying about the trial, there hadn’t been much time in the last week for you to relax. So after the final trial and final decision of not guilty you felt like you were going to collapse. Everyone was happy to be back at the tower but you all decided that celebrating could wait. The week had worn down on everyone. Leaning on Bucky as you headed to his room, your legs felt like lead, and the moment that your head hit the pillow you were out. 

You were a little disoriented as you woke, it was dark in the room and outside, your eyes still felt heavy and there was a weight on your waist. Shifting to look to your left you found the weight to be your soulmate's arm flung over you as he slept, mouth open and small snores slipping out of his mouth. You couldn’t help but giggle at the image, in that moment it hit you that you are free. The government isn’t going to come after you and Hydra is in hiding again, at least for a little while. Allowing yourself to relax again you shuffle closer to Bucky, pausing when you feel him stir. He simply turns to his side and pulls you closer in his sleep resting his chin on top of your head as you bury your face into his chest. Breathing him in, you soak in the warmth of his chest and arm. Even with the super-soldier serum flowing through you, your body still runs a little cooler and you always enjoy the warmth that your space heater of a boyfriend gives off. You smile to yourself as you allow your body to drift back off to sleep.

The sun is the first thing you notice as your body slowly comes to consciousness. You must have slept all afternoon and night. Can’t say you're surprised, you hadn’t been this exhausted since you disobeyed and got a tattoo to cover your soul mate mark at eighteen. A soft kiss to your forehead pulls you out of your thoughts and causes your eyes to flutter open. The sight you are met with makes your heart melt, Bucky is leaning on his metal arm looking down at you with a soft smile gracing his lips. His flesh hand is tracing random patterns on the skin of your hip. You sleepily smile up at him.

“G’mornin’ love, wha’ time s’it? Your words are slurred with sleep, causing Bucky to smile a little wider

“9 am, the day is practically halfway gone.” he jokes, considering you normally end up waking up closer to 5:30 in the morning 9 is surprising.

“No shit? I can’t remember the last time I slept in this late.” you giggle at the noise that your tummy makes at that moment “‘M hungry.”

Bucky nods and goes to get dressed, at least enough for the communal kitchen as you stretch out across the bed, trying to release those last few knots in your body before getting up and putting on your baggy pj bottoms. 

You are surprised to see Tony cooking bacon and pancakes when you enter the kitchen. You walk up and give your brother a hug,

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he unsuccessfully tries hiding his smile as you raise your eyebrow at him, “and really, I’m only good at making a couple of things, breakfast being one of them.”

You give him a kiss on the cheek before you walk over to the coffee maker, pouring yourself a cup and making a fresh pot for the rest of the group. Sipping on the sweet nectar of life in your hands you hop onto the counter beside Tony, Bucky leaning on the island across from you. 

“So, it seems like you’re the only one having to pay a fine for your actions, bro.” you make it into a joke but watch his face closely for any sign that he feels uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I get it though, I am the one with the most money and the one with the most agency to do whatever I want. So, I can’t really blame them for being a least a little frustrated with me.” You smile at his words, you wouldn’t say that they were only a little frustrated, but you weren’t going to say that to him. You sit there with your two favorite boys as Tony finishes with breakfast, helping set the table when everything was almost ready.

“Hey Friday,” you call out.

“Yes miss Stark.” You roll your eyes at the formal ways she addresses you.

“Could you please let anyone that is awake that breakfast is ready?”

“Absolutely miss.”

You nod satisfied as you pull some orange juice from the fridge and syrup from the pantry. You can hear voices approaching as you place them on the table. Sam and Steve walk in first, followed quickly by Nat and Clint whispering to themselves as they approach the table. Bruce slowly walks in from the lab, clearly lost in thought. You know that the twins, Wanda and Pietro are probably still sleeping, they don’t normally show their faces until at least 10:30 am. Thor is currently off world, Scott is back in California, and Vision doesn’t eat. Conversation ceases as everyone stuffs their faces with the food in front of them, surprised comments at Tony making such a good breakfast are made and you could see the attention going to his head but you decided to allow it this one time. 

Finishing up the food on your plate you lean against Bucky on your right, watching the people around the table as they begin to joke with each other. A sense of calm overcomes you as you allow yourself to realize that the people around you have become more of a family to you than your so-called dad ever was. Bucky looks down at you, 

“You ok little sunflower?” you look up at him and smile,

“I have never been better, my star, I have my soulmate next to me and my family around me. And for the moment I have nothing to worry about except how I’m going to spend my day.”

His smile widens at your words, pulling you closer he nuzzles his nose against the shell of your ear, 

“I think I have an idea about how to spend the day.” His voice was deeper and raspier than normal, sending a shiver down your spine as you smack his arm.

“James Barnes!” you threw your hand over your heart in mock outrage, “you kiss your soulmate with that mouth?”

“I want to kiss her elsewhere right now.” He murmurs, you just roll your eyes at him, 

“At least let me finish breakfast first, yeesh.” Bucky laughed at your reaction, kissing your temple 

“We don’t have to right now but I wouldn’t say no to later today.” shaking your head at his antics you smiled up at him, as an idea popped in your head.

“Sounds good love. Hey, wanna go to the farmers market today? We haven’t gone in such a long time.” Bucky’s smile grew at your request, he couldn’t say no to you, especially when you looked at him with those big expectant eyes.

“Of course Sunflower, let’s have a day out.” 

After eating and getting dressed, and a couple of breathtaking kisses you both headed out for the day. Bucky insisted that you go back to the Farmers market in Brooklyn so you piled onto the back of his motorcycle. The wind and sun on your face felt amazing as he weaved his way through the traffic, this, you think, is exactly what I was missing. 

Walking towards the market you noticed Bucky glancing at some barbers as you walked past. You decided quickly to find out exactly what he was thinking about.

“Thinking about getting a haircut, handsome?” you tried to keep your tone playful as you asked. Bucky looked at you, eyes swimming with a thousand emotions.

“I am, maybe getting a haircut will help me feel more like myself again.” You smiled at him

“Ok my star, if that’s something you want to try I am all for it.” The smile that split his face made your heart flutter. Yeah, you think, he needs this.

You pull him into the barbershop, speaking with the man behind the counter, gesturing towards Bucky as you spoke. He was more than willing to set aside some time to help out a war veteran.

Bucky was nervous, you could tell by the amount of fidgeting he was doing. You stood by him and gently grasped his hand,

“Love we can wait if you want to,” He simply shook his head, you knew exactly what he needed to relax, 

“Ok Buck, there are three doorways that we can use for exits, one upfront and two in the back, I will keep my eye on all of them to watch for anyone that could mean harm. There are two large windows at the front that we could also use, the barber is trustworthy and I’m with you in case something happens.” 

His shoulders slowly relaxed as you spoke, reveling in the fact that you were being as observant in your surroundings as he was. He finally allowed himself to relax and tell the barber what he wanted.

After his haircut, you continued on to the farmers market. It was exactly the same as the last time you had been there. You pulled Bucky around, hand gripping his metal one as you pointed out all of the things that interested you. 

While looking at some of the vegetables on display you decided to make a big super for everyone that night. As shity as the man you called father was, he had taught you how to cook traditional Russian meals. Mainly so that he could feel more at home, but you didn’t want to think about that right now. Right now you wanted to make a meal for your family that you remembered from your childhood. 

You quickly told Bucky about your plan, dragging him around as you found all of the ingredients you would need for the food as well as stuff to make dessert. Luckily you were able to hold all of your groceries while on the motorcycle as Bucky drove you back to the tower after spending the majority of your day galivanting around Brooklyn. Pulling into the garage below the tower Bucky helped you take everything up to the communal kitchen so that you could get started. 

You put Bucky to work as you cooked, having him peel veggies and potatoes so that you could chop them up and put them into the pot for the Borscht, a Russian vegetable soup. Also making some Kartoshka, Russian cake pops, for dessert. It took about 3 hours for you to completely finish cooking everything but you hadn’t felt so at peace in a long time. Cooking and baking had always been your escape from everything that was happening around you while at Hydra. Of course your sexist father hadn’t minded, he enjoyed having a good little daughter that knew her place to cook for him. His duality always surprised you, he wanted you to be a typical girl while also making you into a super-soldier. You wonder how fucked up his brain had really been before your bullet went through it.

The cool feeling of Bucky’s metal arm wrapping around your stomach pulled you back to the present. Leaning into his warmth you looked up at him with a soft smile.

“Hey, lovie could you help me set the table? I need to finish this and I’ll tell Friday to let everyone know that it is ready.” Bucky left a soft kiss on your head before nodding and heading to the cabinets to grab everything.

“Hey Friday, could you please let everyone know that I made dinner and it’s ready?” 

“Yes, miss” 

“Thank you, Friday, and you know that you don’t need to call me miss?”

“Yes miss.” you rolled your eyes, who knew that AIs could be so sarcastic, leave it to Tony to create one that was.

Everyone filed in, looking confused yet excited about the food on the table and absolutely shocked at Bucky’s haircut. They quickly commented on how good he looked before looking to you to explain what they were about to eat. You explained that it was a traditional Russian meal that you had been taught to make when you were younger. You didn’t miss the misty look in Nat’s eyes when she saw what you had made. She gave you a small smile when she noticed your eyes on her. You were proud to note that she had eaten three full bowls before leaning back stuffed.

Everyone was overly full at the end of dinner, shuffling over to the living room to watch a movie. Lord of the Rings was put on the table and you, Bucky, and Steve all looked at each other confused, you had never heard of that movie before. Everyone else looked at you in shock,

“You haven’t seen this?” Wanda asked incredulously, “I mean I know you didn’t have a normal life but even I’ve seen them and I was in a type of jail for half my life.”

“Sorry, Wands but random movies weren’t high on my priority list as I tried to escape Hydra and then worked on getting my soulmate free.” The sarcasm dripped from your voice as you raised your eyebrow at her. Seeing her face fall at your words you took a deep breath, you never meant to upset her.

“Hey Wands,” she looked back up at you, “I’m sorry for snapping, I didn’t mean to. I would love to watch these movies with you for the first time.” Her smile was back and she jumped up to put the movie in, running to give you a hug as she went. 

Wanda was right, of course, the movie was amazing, you were hooked and by the end of it you couldn’t wait till you would get to watch the rest of them. But by the looks of everyone else they were ready for bed, and you could feel your eyes getting a little heavy as the credits rolled. You slowly stood, stretching out for being curled up by Bucky for the last couple of hours. He followed you to his room, since your kidnapping incident you spent more nights there than not.

Stepping through the door you were surprised to be pushed against the wall, door slamming behind Bucky as he crowded against you. His lips were rough against yours as he trapped your arms above your head and leaned his whole body against you. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you at the feeling of him against you. Of course, he wouldn’t have forgotten your conversation and testing kisses from earlier. He pulled back panting slightly, breath fanning over your face,

“You looked so beautiful today, and then you made such amazing food that reminded me of the good things in my past. You are amazing and I feel incredibly lucky to have your mark on me.”

At his words, you couldn’t help but pull your arms from his grip and lift his shirt to kiss along his tattoo.

“You’re the one who looked distractingly good today and I’m the lucky one Buck. I don’t deserve you and your heart,” he growled at your words, not liking how self-deprecating you sounded. He lifted you easily and threw you on the bed, deciding that he would spend all night showing you exactly how much you deserve each other.


End file.
